Page 24 of Psycho

Dad had passed out on the couch when I left the trailer, and for a moment, I thought the alcohol and drugs had finally caught up to him, and he had died in his sleep.

Then he shifted a bit, and a loud snore came through, and the disappointment had been instantaneous.

Had I been stronger, I might have been able to bring myself to do something.

He was passed out and vulnerable to me.

But I—

I shook my head.

I wasn’t a killer.

I blinked against the morning sun, shaking away the dark thoughts.

I had a scarf wrapped around my neck because it was as I predicted. There were finger-shaped bruises on my neck, a cigarette burn on my arm that would no doubt scar over, and a sore jaw.

I had an hour of visiting time with her before I needed to get to school.

I walked inside through the front door to a quiet building.

It wasn’t empty.

The receptionist barely looked up at me before returning to whatever she was looking at on the computer screen. There were nurses loitering about and nursing home residents, most sitting quietly by themselves, several in front of the TV screen, watching a movie, some knitting, and one man playing chess by himself.

It was depressing.

It was the only one Dad agreed to when he put Grandma in here.

It was the place the older folks came to and waited for the end of their days.

I hated it there.

But it was the only option I got, and it wasn’t possible to let Grandma live in her own house or with us. Not when she had the propensity to wander out and about, especially late at night.

The last night of her living in her own home, we got a call from the cops saying they found her wandering about on the highway.

She was nearly run over.

At least at the care home, there were people watching her and making sure she could sleep.

I looked around the community room and saw her in the corner, her eyes on the TV.

Apart from the group of seniors, but still with them.

I quickly signed in and moved over to her.

I took a seat in the chair next to her and waited for her to notice me.

When she did, she offered me a bright smile that just about broke my heart.

This was the kind of smile she gave to strangers.

She didn’t recognize me today.

“Hello, young lady. What can I help you with?”

I blinked and smiled back at her. “I just want to sit here with you and watch TV. Is that okay?”

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