Page 36 of Plunge into Obsession

“And just give up on Lucinda?”

“What can we do? We’re just…us. We have no connection, no money… no power. I don’t want you to wake up years later, still in the same place you’re in now, only to realize with regret that you have been living your life for a ghost.”

“What if she’s not dead?” I asked, because that was what I was worried about. It might make me sound terrible, but there were so many times I’d wished Lucinda had died a quick and painless death, because the alternative was too much for me to even think about.

I was afraid to give up on her, only to realize some years later that she had been alive all this time, calling out to me for help and I… didn’t.

I blinked, and the waitress came up to us.

“Sorry about that,” she said, sounding breathless. “Busy night. What can I get for you ladies?”

Kaia looked at me.

I looked down at my lap, unable to say anything around the enormous lump in my throat. I was afraid that if I spoke, I might cry.

“Two dry martinis,” Kaia said, ordering for both of us.

The waitress probably said something, but I wasn’t really paying any attention to her.

“I’m sorry,” Kaia said to me when the waitress left. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I didn’t know Lucinda very well, but I know about your history with her. And honestly, if it had been you who went missing, I’m sure she would be doing the exact same thing that you are.”

I didn’t say anything. I hoped so, but a part of me knew Lucinda well enough to know that she probably wouldn’t have.

“I know I would,” Kaia said softly.

I smiled a little and nodded. Because that same part of me knew Kaia well enough to know she would do that for me.

We were all each other had in this world.

Some might even say we were codependent.

We were just close.

She moved closer to me and wrapped her arm around me. I rested my head on her shoulder.

“You’re right,” I said finally. “I need to move on with my life.”

“It’s understandable that it’s hard for you.”

“Perhaps we can take this one small step at a time?”

“What do you mean?” she asked.

I pulled away and looked at her. “Maybe keep working for the rest of the year. There are only about three months left. Then we can quit. And maybe… maybe I might find the courage to move out of New Mexico.”

“Yeah?” Kaia asked, her face bright.

My heart pinched in guilt because it was me who had held us back all these years.

I never left New Mexico—never left Albuquerque—because this was where Lucinda disappeared, and some part of me hoped she would someday return and I would be around to help her as much as I could.

But perhaps it was time to move on.

“Yeah,” I said. “We should move. Maybe somewhere nice.”

“With a beach,” she added.

We shared a smile.

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