Page 167 of Creep

“Perhaps not, but that doesn’t mean our child won’t be loved or protected. You know I would protect our children with everything in me, right?”

Since when did child becomechildren?

I would ask him how many kids he wanted, but I had a feeling the answer would only infuriate me further.

“I don’t know what to say to that,” I answered him finally.

He pushed my head back down to his chest, wrapping his arms around me, and said, “Then don’t say anything. Just stay close to me, and that is all.”

I closed my eyes and did as he asked. I stayed close to him, counting the beats of his heart and letting that calm me, hoping,prayingeverything was going to be all right.

* * *

I satat the dining table, with only one light on, fighting the urge to keep everything I had for dinner down.

I was going to be sick.

It was late the next day, and Mael was off doing… I didn’t know, and at this point, I didn’t want to know. I just wanted him to come back home safe to me.

That was all I asked.

And I couldn’t sleep. I was tired, but there was something restless building inside me that made it impossible for me to just fall asleep. The black book was in front of me.

I had read most of its contents.

At first, I didn’t know what I was reading or why it was important enough that Caden felt the need to give it to me.

But it started to make more sense the further I read, and the more I wished I hadn’t. I wished I could just erase all the content from my mind and go back to a time when I didn’t know the existence of this stupid book.

It was a record my dad kept of all the people he had sold.

He and Leo.

I closed my eyes, trying hard not to cry. It wasn’t working. My eyes fell to the writing on the pages, Dad’s handwriting, of all his sins.

This couldn’t be true.

I shook my head. I could deny it all I wanted, but it was true. And Caden knew.

He knew.

How long after he found out the truth did he accidentally overdose?

My little brother was addicted to pain pills, but he had always been careful not to take too much. Until that one night when he did, and I wasn’t making excuses for him, but… was this what drove him further into the darkness?

Until he didn’t know how to get out of it?

I felt the first tear fall when a shadow came over me. I didn’t turn around. There was only one person it could be.

I felt him take in the book. I didn’t bother trying to hide it from him.

“What’s this, kitten?” Mael asked, reaching over me and grabbing the book. I heard him sift through the pages. It took him less time to realize what he was reading than it did me. “Where did you get this?”

“My brother hid it in my closet for me to find,” I answered automatically. “He knew, Mael. He knew about my dad. A-And now he’s gone.”

He placed the book down and turned my chair around until I was facing him, kneeling so that we were eye to eye.

“Are you okay?”

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