Page 28 of Marry Me

“Okay. Um, well, her name is Megan. She’s my wedding planner, and I liked her right away, the moment we met.”

“Your wedding planner?” Lacy shouted.

Allison threw a glance behind her and turned back, eyes wide. “Well, don’t scream about it.”

Lacey covered her mouth. “I’m sorry. Sorry about that. Just was not expecting it to be the wedding planner. Please go on.”

“Okay, well, she’s smart, successful, put together. I thought I was just in admiration of all she was.”

Lacey scribbled down some notes. “And you’re sure that’s not it? Attraction and idolization can be confusing.”

“Yes, I’m sure.” She nodded for emphasis. “Sure,sure.” She met Lacey’s eyes purposefully to impart that there was not a mistake at hand.

Lacey squinted and set the pad aside. “How do you know?”

“Because I think of her in other ways.”

“I’m picking up on that, but you haven’t said, and if you can’t even say it out loud, then I’m not sure how I can help.” She held up a hand. “Again, not that I’m not willing because this is…really something.”

Allison closed her eyes briefly and decided to just do it. The words would make it real, but this was for the greater good. She couldn’t talk to Betsy. Definitely not Brent, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to reveal trouble in paradise to the teachers on her own grade level who were so excited about the upcoming wedding. “I’m attracted to her. Plain and simple.”

“You’re attracted to her confidence, her exuberance for life, her success.”

Allison answered with her eyes closed. Easier to blurt that way. “Yes, but I’m also attracted to her body. To being close to her. I fantasize about doing more than just being…her friend.” She opened her eyes, feeling a little bit more free.

Lacy grinned and applauded. She was certainly an enthusiastic person. “And now we’re getting somewhere. Has this ever happened to you before?”

“No.”

“So no female crushes?”

“No, I meant this hasn’t happened to me with anyone before. Male or female. She affects me in a way no one has in the past. This might be way too much information, but—”

“I think we’re way past that point, but you were saying?”

“I’ve never been a big…luster. Is that a word? What I mean is that I’ve found people attractive before, enjoyed their company, and gradually grown to like spending time with them.”

“Which is perfectly okay.”

“Yes. I’ve been happy. And I enjoy sex when I have it, but I don’t think about it when I’m going about my day, you know? It’s a lovely perk in life, but it’s never driven me…until now.”

Lacey nodded sagely and set down her cup of yogurt. “Until now. Megan.”

“Yeah. What do I do?”

“That’s a difficult question. This guy you’re engaged to, you love him?”

“Yeah, he’s great. Nothing not to love.”

Lacey passed her a look. “You’re not even married yet. You should be head over heels for this guy, longing for his presence. Do you?”

“Do Ilongfor his presence?” She took a moment to truly ask herself the question, because in the quiet of this classroom that wasn’t hers, with this friend who had always been peripheral, she felt like she could be honest. The stakes were low in just answering a simple question, right? “Longing is a strong word.”

“And what about Megan?”

“I think about the next time I’ll see her a lot. I fixate on it and glance at the clock. Even more now that I’m aware of the fact that I do it.”

“Which could easily be amplified if you found yourself in an actual romantic relationship with her.”

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