Page 47 of Marry Me

Megan nodded, forcing herself to appear thoughtful. “No? Because this was my first visit here, and I have nothing to compare it to.”

“I promise. Not a regular practice.” Allison leaned in and kissed her. “But I regret nothing.”

That sent an enjoyable shiver. Megan placed her palm against Allison’s and threaded their fingers together. “It was really hard to stop.”

Ally’s eyes went dark again, which made total sense. There’d been no release for her, something Megan regretted, but at the same time, she didn’t want to push. This was new territory for Allison. Not to mention, her life probably felt like a big question mark about now, and the last thing Megan wanted was to make her even more uncomfortable.

“I can tell that you’re letting me set our pace, and while that’s respectable of you, I’d rather these kinds of decisions be a two-way street.”

Megan raised a playful eyebrow. “So back to the kitchen?”

Ally laughed, and Megan absorbed the sound that now climbed the charts to her number-one favorite. “Maybe not just yet.”

“Fair enough.” She gave their still joined hands a shake. “Tell me what’s new. I feel out of touch with your week.”

“Well,” Allison said, scooting a little closer, which was wonderful. “I told Betsy about the broken engagement and my status with Brent, which was hard.”

Megan made the shape of an O with her mouth. “And how did she take it?”

“Not well. She’d heard it from Brent, which is not the way I wanted it to happen, but that’s my own fault for dragging my feet. I knew my family would be upset, and that’s always been a hang-up for me my whole life. Disappointing them.”

Megan sat up straighter, needing to make this point. “Of course I understand that desire to keep the people you love happy, but I worry you’re prioritizing it. This is your future we’re talking about. That’s too big a sacrifice to make for others. Marriage is a big deal.”

“And I think tonight I demonstrated that maybe there’s more to me than even I planned on.” Allison looked at the wall as an amazed smile brushed her lips. “I’ve felt so free lately and so happy when I think about you. It’s a hobby, really.”

“Are you saying that hasn’t happened before when you’ve dated?”

Allison nodded. “Exactly what I’m saying. When I was with someone I liked, I’d always look forward to seeing him, and I’d have a great time when we’re together, but I focused on me and my trajectory when we weren’t. I didn’t dwell, or pine, or fantasize. And now I’m thinking I should have noticed that.”

“Maybe you hadn’t yet met the right person.”

“I’m starting to think you’re right.”

Megan understood that Ally was placing her in a different category. It was easy to let her heart take off with that piece of information. But their scenario was a precarious one, and Megan was someone capable of assessing risk, whether in business or her own life. When there was uncertainty, she didn’t take the risk. Simple as that. The practice had never failed her, so she would continue to assess things with Ally as they went. But she wouldn’t let herself get too comfortable. At least not yet. But she could identify with Ally’s journey. “I remember the first time I had a crush on a woman. My freshman year of college. Her name was Francesca, and she sat near me in my Introduction to Spanish class.” Megan shook her head at the formative memory. “She would pass me these looks that made everything in me come to life. I’d never had that with boys before. Even my longtime high school crush—who, I might add, I lost my virginity to on prom night in a bedroom at his friend’s house.”

Allison’s mouth fell open. “Oh no.”

“Oh yes. I’m a high school cliché. Most disappointing three and a half minutes of my life.”

“I’m so sorry,” Allison said, but she was laughing.

“I’m not. It was entirely enlightening.” She shook her head with a smile and took another sip.

“What happened with Francesca?”

“She invited me over tostudy.” She put the last word in air quotes. “She was two years older than me, so of course I found her to be the most worldly creature I’d ever met. Brown hair about to here”—she indicated halfway down her back—“and these eyes that seemed to see right through my nineteen-year-old bullshit. We cracked our books but were making out before we could say ‘biblioteca.’”

Ally’s eyes went wide. “That was probably a big deal for you.”

“Please.” Megan waved off the understatement. “It exploded my world. I didn’t know those kinds of feelings, both physical and emotional, before her. As scary as it was, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Changed my life.”

The grin that took up residence on Allison’s face was everything. “I love the way you put that. The more we learn about ourselves, the better life is, right? At least in the end. It’s the fallout that happens in the meantime that’s hard.” She watched the smile on Allison’s face dim, because for her, there was a lot at stake.

“I think the answer is yes to both.” Megan finished the last of her wine. “And now the drink I came for is gone. I should go.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to leave you wanting me to stay, rather than the alternative.” She stood, and Allison joined her.

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