Page 54 of Marry Me

She squinted, hands in pockets. “You don’t have to use my full name.”

“You care. You care more than you’ve let on.” Allison grinned. “It means we’re friends now. You can’t escape it.”

Lacey held up a hand as she moved about the perimeter of the room, taking a handful of rulers and helping Allison place one on each desk. “Well, I can’t just send my advice out into the world and hope it all works out.” She shrugged. “So, fine. I was hoping for a little update.”

Allison tried to smother the grin, but it wasn’t going anywhere. “I’ve felt…lighter lately. I always feel like I have something to look forward to, no matter what I’m doing. It’s really nice.”

“You’re gaga.”

“Yes. And so very alive.” She paused, mid ruler distribution. “I’ve never felt more energetic in my life.”

“So, you’ve hadsex.” Lacey dropped her voice on the last word, given they were within the walls of an elementary school.

“Not exactly. Kind of.” She frowned. Made sure the door was closed. And decided to just say it. Lacey was her friend and now consultant. She could level with her. “We’ve fooled around. Second base. Third, maybe? I don’t know the bases very well to say.”

“We can skip the baseball analogy.”

“Okay. The point is that…” She dropped her voice to a whisper. “I want to do more, and I feel like that’s on the very near horizon, but…” She couldn’t say the words.

“Oh, and we have a man down.” Lacey studied her. “Just say it. Turn off your brain and just blurt out the words like an assembly line.”

“I don’t know how.” Allison closed her eyes and braced herself.

“To say it out loud?”

She opened her eyes again. “To have full-on, no clothes sex. With a woman.” She’d said that way too loud and winced, dropping her volume again and scurrying closer to Lacey. “It seems so much more involved than with a man, and I have no experience with this sort of thing. I need to rent some lesbian movies. Are there classes? Study sessions? I’m a dedicated scholar.”

Lacey blinked. “I think we should go back to baseball.”

Allison nodded, prepared to listen to her friend and write down whatever information might be most important. She’d always been a studious note taker, and this was maybe one of the most important tests she faced.

“You’ve landed on some bases. Vague that may be, but we’re going with it. You clearly have some experience to draw from, and honestly, so much is instinct. You have to trust yours.”

“Trust me. When we’re together, there are so many very powerful instincts. My hands have a mind of their own, my mouth does things before I tell it to, and I take liberties that I’m shocked I take. In kitchens.”

“Very impressive. You sound like you have all the necessary tools.” Lacey met her eyes. “I think you just need to get out of your own damn way. You’re in your head.”

“Weren’t you? I mean, your first time?”

“Hell, yes. It was awful. Awkward and sometimes uncomfortable. Dark in the room, which made everything confusing.” Allison’s face fell hearing that. Lacey leaned in. “But still the most amazing thing I’d ever experienced. And it only got better from there.”

She exhaled slowly. “Well, that’s something.”

“It’s everything.”

Two days later, from the comfortable chair across from Megan’s desk at Soiree, Allison asked her a question. “Is it weird to not know what it’s like to be excited about life until one day you are?” At Megan’s invitation she’d swung by for a little extra time together. They hadn’t seen each other in three days, and that began to feel like way too long. In fact, the more time they spent together, the more she craved it.

Megan smiled, and Ally melted. She was so beautiful it damn near hurt to look at her. She wore jeans and a brown tweed blazer on top of a white dress shirt. “Is this your way of confessing to me that you’ve been happy lately?” She came around the desk and leaned against it in front of Allison, arms folded. So sexy.

“Yes.” Ally looked up at her. “You know that it’s been hard to navigate my path lately, but underneath it all is this undeniable giddiness about everything that’s ahead. I try to just focus on that, and it sees me through. You. Me. You, again.” She sighed and gave Megan’s hand a slight shake. “I think about you way too often. You’re zapping my brain time.”

“You’re not alone. I imagine you in your classroom throughout the day. Check the clock to see if you’re on lunch soon, because I know I’ll get a sweet text from you.”

“Always,” Allison said. Even in this sincere exchange, every part of her was longing to be physically closer to Megan, to touch her cheek, kiss her lips, hold her. Would that need ever fade away? She simply couldn’t imagine that.

“Not to be a mood killer. But how are things with your sister? Have the two of you talked?”

Allison shook her head solemnly. “My parents have continued to be incredibly sweet and supportive, but Bets?” She sighed. “May take more time. The interesting part? It’s not a comment on sexuality, at least not directly. I think this has more to do with me and Brent, and everything that relationship brought to the table. Shelikedthe idea of being an in-law to the Carmichael family. It came with such status, and that’s what drives her.” She shrugged. “We just value different things.”

---