Page 62 of Marry Me

“New at what exactly?” Megan squinted, feigning confusion.

Allison took a minute. “Sex.” Her eyes went wide with accusation. “You know exactly what, too.”

“I just like seeing you blush. Say it again, so I can watch you go all red.”

“Sex.” This time came with confidence.

“Now that’s nice.” She pointed with her fork. “So was last night. And this morning. And this moment. In fact,niceis a dumb as hell word for it because it’s so much better than that. Fantastic is more like it. Highly memorable. Another waffle?”

Ally laughed. “No, no. I’m already so full. But I’ll take to heart the wordfantastic. I might put it on my fridge in colorful magnets.”

“Well, you’d be entirely deserving. You earned those colors.”

As Megan washed their dishes while Ally cleared the table, she knew the transparent thing to do would be to mention Brent’s visit the day before. She didn’t want to upset Allison in the midst of their date, but this morning felt like an opportune time.

“Hey, I do need to tell you something.” She turned off the water and met Allison’s eyes. “Brent stopped by my office yesterday.”

“Oh. He did?” Allison took a moment, her face clouded with concern and then defeat, like a child at the zoo when someone let the air out of her balloon. “What did he say? I’m sorry he did that.”

“It’s okay. I think he’s feeling worried that maybe your time away from him is turning into more. He thought you’d have come back to him by now.”

Silence. “Oh.” No mention of whether or not she planned to. That hurt. After last night, Megan didn’t really see Allison moving in that direction, but she couldn’t seem to shake the fear from the recesses of her mind. Anything could happen here, and she needed to be ready for it. Emotionally.

To cover the lack of reassurance, Megan pressed on. “He asked me to back off.”

“You’re kidding.”

“No.”

Allison came around the counter until she stood facing Megan. “I don’t want you to back off, just so we’re clear.” Her blue eyes searched Megan’s in earnest, and she believed her. Part of her relaxed.Part.

“Okay. It helps to hear that from you.” She wanted to push. She wanted to say that she needed more reassurance if she was going to let herself go where her feelings were so desperately tugging her. She was falling for Allison faster than she’d ever fallen before, and that was a very dangerous prospect. This was not the kind of scenario Megan would have planned or wanted for herself, but she focused on the fact that Ally was worth it. Every day they spent with each other showed her that. She needed to stay strong and hang in there because waking up next to Allison had been everything she’d ever wanted.

“I can imagine his visit probably rattled you. But I hope it didn’t scare you away. Because I’m not scared.”

Okay, that helped. “No?”

Allison went up on tiptoe and placed a soft kiss on Megan’s lips. “No.”

But shewasscared, more than she was willing to admit. It wasn’t a feeling she was comfortable or familiar with, leaving her grappling with her own thoughts, too unnerved to divulge her fears to Allison. Too embarrassed to admit to beingthat girl. “Do you hear from him much?”

“Um, some. He’s texted a couple of times, checked in casually, buthasn’t broached the subject of the breakup. Honestly, because of that I thought he was doing well.”

“I’m not sure that’s the case.”

“Huh.” Allison seemed struck, upset even. It made perfect sense that she’d care about his feelings. Megan couldn’t begrudge her that. “He’s always so confident. It’s strange to think of him struggling with anything.”

Megan smiled. “Yeah, well, you’re not just anything. You’re Allison, and you matter a lot. To both of us apparently.”

“I wonder if I should reach out.”

Megan winced. “I’m afraid that might fuel the fire.”

“Yeah, me, too.” She seemed dejected, as if sitting in front of an advanced puzzle she had no ability to solve.

“But listen to me, time will help heal, and all of this is going to work out. You can’t control Brent or his emotions. All you can do is manage what’s going on here.” She touched Allison’s heart with her palm, and Allison covered it with her hand.

“That’s what I’m trying desperately to do, and right about now, I’m feeling damn successful.”

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