Page 101 of Marry Me

“Is it weird for you, talking about the almost wedding?”

She considered the question, a little surprised by how not weird it was. “No. It’s a part of my life, and I’m coming to terms with it.”

“Have you come to terms with my role in it?”

She stared into her drink. “No. Not quite.”

“Yeah, I kind of got that impression. I don’t know if it matters now, or maybe if not now then someday, but I’m truly sorry. For all of it.”

She raised her gaze and found Megan’s eyes. Her expression was heartfelt, sincere. “Thank you for saying that.” She left it there. While Megan still had a clear effect on her, some kind of magnetic pull she couldn’t shake, her heart was now guarded and closed.

“You don’t have to say anything. Just listen.” Megan placed her hand on the table right along Allison’s. Megan didn’t touch her, probably on purpose, but the proximity forced her to swallow and remember to breathe. “I haven’t given up on us. I know you likely have, and that’s okay. But I’m here as your friend…or whatever else. If you tell me to stay away, I will. I don’t plan to make any big moves or make you feel uncomfortable. But if you ever feel like taking a step in my direction, I’ll be here and would very much welcome that opportunity to show you how unafraid I am now. Of you, of me. Of us.”

Oh, those were some rattling words. It took Allison a moment to digest them, turn them over, and decide how she felt. A part of her couldn’t resist celebrating their meaning. That was the part that still held on to her amazing memories with Megan. The other part of her screamedhell no, still bristling from abandonment and betrayal. Megan didn’t just get to waltz in and out of her life on a whim. Allison was a person with real feelings and vulnerabilities, and she wasn’t about to hand Megan the power to undo her all over again, whenever she felt like it.

“I hear you. I do. And I honestly don’t have the perfect reply.”

“Then let’s leave it there and talk about something else. The weather, your parents. How are they?”

“Surprisingly good. Brent was kind enough to put his foot down with his father, and for once he was heard. The board got involved and decided the product stood on its own, and they’re moving forward with the licensing. The Dash Bar is going into fifty stores across Texas, and if it does well, they’ll expand.”

“Wow, so what does this mean for them?”

“They can breathe a little easier. Take their house off the market, for starters.”

She smiled. “Well, I’m shocked to be saying this, but I’m proud of the Carmichaels for setting the personal aside.”

“Me, too. And it takes away some of the guilt.”

“You don’t have to feel guilty about following your heart. You get to make your own choices.”

She took a moment to sort her thoughts because there were so many. “I feel like I’m on a journey right now. I’m learning who I am, but I’m also learning who I want to be. I like the strength I’ve discovered and plan to continue building on it.”

Megan seemed impressed. “I envy you.”

“Why? You’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever met.”

“Um, you might want to rethink that, given recent behavior.”

“You know something? You’re right. You’re a chicken.”

Megan’s mouth fell open. “I suppose I deserve that. Not a term I’m used to owning, but I can do it, as long as we can move it to the past tense.” Her face took on a determined quality, her eye contact unwavering. “Because that’s not where I’m at now.”

“Yes, you’ve indicated as much.” That was about all she was willing to agree to, and in the midst of their conversation, she’d slugged down about three-quarters of her Toffee Crunch Dream. Not much left holding her here.

Megan must have picked up on her shift. “You’re about to leave, aren’t you?”

Allison nodded.

“Okay, well, maybe we’ll see each other again sometime.”

“Yeah.” She stood, paused, and forced herself to relinquish a little bit of her resentment. “Thanks for the talk. I mean that.” She offered a soft smile to punctuate, and she meant it, too.

She drove home feeling better than she had in a long while. Unclear on exactly what she was feeling and what was happening, but she was trying not to overanalyze.Just float, she told herself. That’s all that was required.

* * *

Megan tried not to think too much as she navigated the spring into summer transition. Soiree was about to enter its busiest season, and it was important she stayed focused on the things in front of her that she could control: her work, her ability to be a good and kind person, and not overthinking. That last part was key, and it would be to her detriment if she let her overworking brain convince her that her efforts to rebuild her relationship with Allison brick by brick were for nothing. They weren’t. Simply talking to Ally again was a salve. Allowing a little bit of her light to spill over into Megan’s life was an actual gift, and that’s what she chose to concentrate on.

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