Page 71 of Marry Me

“For the best.”

“Sneaky bastards. So what’s your thing?”

“Megan. I’m doing the whole taking-stock thing and coming up a little short.”

“Trouble in Sapphic paradise. I know it well. Proceed.”

Ally nodded, needing to talk this out. “So, here it goes. We were doing great, everything moving in the right direction. We have a blast together—we just click. Plus, the sex. I can’t even. My vocabulary doesn’t stretch adequately.”

“You saucy vixen. You’ve come so far on your foray into ladyland. But?”

“I can feel her pulling away a little at a time, and I don’t have a clue what to do. The more I feel for her, the more she recedes. I’m helpless to stop it, and it’s beginning to affect…everything.”

Lacey frowned and popped the last bite of her oatmeal cookie into her mouth. They’d gotten in the habit of eating lunch together in Lacey’s classroom, a practice Allison had come to look forward to. “Is it possible she’s just overrun at work? Didn’t you say she takes on a lot?”

“She does. But this feels different somehow.” She shook her head, trying to pin down the appropriate words. “She still devotes the same amount of time to us. She’s available, but she’s also less…present, like she’s distracted.” She sighed, facing a more likely, though awful suspicion. “Or maybe she’s getting bored. The shine might be gone on her end. I tried to have a talk with her the other night, tell her how I feel about her, but she didn’t give much back and then changed the subject. Things feel…unsteady, and I hate it.”

Lacey frowned. “Well, has she had many relationships in the past?”

Allison hesitated. They’d talked about it. “She’s had girlfriends, sure. I don’t think anything extra-long-term.”

“Might be a red flag. When things get serious, she’s out. We might’ve just stumbled on her pattern.”

“Right. God. That sadly fits.” Allison nodded, forcing herself to face the very upsetting possibility. Megan had touched on the fact that before Allison, she spent time at Shakers with Kelsey and met women here or there. She’d confessed that these meetings had rarely turned into much because she was a busy person and not one to get sucked in easily. Back then, Ally had taken that as a compliment because Meganwasinterested inher.

This was an awful pill to swallow. Did that mean that they would just dead-end at some point? She just couldn’t imagine it, and yet, she had to prepare herself.

She pictured those kind, dark eyes that felt like they belonged to her now, and every part of Allison hurt, physically hurt, at the idea that Megan might be drifting away for good. She thought of her parents. Thefor salesign in their yard and the deal with the Carmichaels, whichwas over because of her. Lastly, she thought of Brent, who’d never done anything but support her with a smile on his face, who’d never wavered in what he wanted, and she’d given it all up for Megan. She didn’t regret it, but she was becoming increasingly aware that her head might be just as valuable as her heart when navigating this situation. She had to keep her wits about her.

When Brent called later that night, something he did once or twice a week these days just to check in, she deviated from her usual plan to let the call roll over to voice mail and, on impulse, decided to pick up.

“Hey there,” he said, sounding surprised to hear her voice.

“Hi, Brent.” She closed her eyes. His voice was so familiar that she relaxed into a comfortable zone she’d missed recently. “How are you?”

“Oh, ya know. I’ve been better. Calling to see how you are, though.”

She smiled. “I’m doing all right. Grades are due in two days, so I’m—”

“Slaving over your laptop at the kitchen table until they’re in. Likely with a glass of white, but just one because it’s a weeknight.”

She laughed because she was sitting in the very spot he’d just described, wineglass half empty. “Yes, that.”

A pause on the line. “You will likely say no, but can we grab a cup of coffee? Take a walk in the park. I’d love to catch up. No pressure. Just want to hear all you’ve been up to. It’s been a couple months.”

She took a long moment with that request, conflicted in so many ways. But it seemed harmless enough, and she was feeling so much at sea these days. Seeing Brent and reinforcing their new friendship dynamic might actually be helpful. “I can swing that.”

“Fantastic. When?” His voice was now energized, eager even.

“Um, what about tomorrow?” Megan had already begged off the dinner that they usually had together. Her office was hosting a monthly cocktail hour for their stable of brides.

“Done. I’ll meet you at the teddy bear statues in Lakeside Park at, say, six o’clock? How’s that?”

“Yeah, I love those statues.”

“I know you do.”

They said their good-byes, and she clicked off the call, guilt nestled tight in her chest. Doubt crept in like an uninvited guest. What the hellwas she doing exactly? Fresh tears arrived hot and thick, falling down her cheeks. She wrapped her arms around herself to feel anchored, whole. It was a losing battle.

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