Page 76 of Exclusive

I smiled ruefully. “Everyone but her, it seems.”

“Give her time.”

“I definitely will.”

Carrie and I made love that night and it was absolute perfection. I held her close, tight, in awe once again at how perfectly we fit together in the bedroom. I traced her skin, kissed her fingertips, luxuriated in her. It was after three before we drifted off with me stroking her hair softly, lifting it, and letting it drop. When I heard the heavy, rhythmic breaths of sleep, I allowed myself to drift as well.

Chapter Eighteen

Itwas late in the day on Saturday when my phone buzzed with a text. I was standing on a stepladder in my kitchen changing out a light bulb like the responsible renter that I was. Carrie. I smiled to myself.Something’s come up. Do you have time to talk?I stared at the message. I’d stayed at her place the night before but was home for laundry, cleaning, and reorganization for the upcoming week.

I immediately called her back. “Hey. What’s up?”

“So, here goes.” She didn’t delay and launched in, talking fast. “It’s the Seattle thing. They called Corey and they want to make it happen. Officially.”

I frowned and began walking the length of my small living room. “Who is they? What do you mean?”

“WBAA in Seattle wants me to anchor evenings, and they’re extending an official offer. We’ve glimpsed the details, Skyler, and they’re…impressive.” She laughed nervously. “I don’t even know what to say about it. I just didn’t expect them to actually follow through. Those things are so often just a lot of talk, and then they hire the new fresh face, you know? That’s what I expected. Probably Corey, too.”

She was animated. The excitement in her voice inspired both happiness and terror in mine. “Okay, well, let’s think this through.” I was being conservatively supportive but didn’t want to think anything through. Seattle could find someone else, and she should tell them that. Now. But at the same time, if this was something Carrie wanted, could I live with myself if I stood in her way. “What are the pros and cons?” How was this real?

“Well, we’d be apart if I took it. That’s a definite con. I can’t even imagine that.” She was actually considering this. Leaving me. It waslike being hit with a two-by-four. “A pro would be a second chance in a more prestigious market. I’d feel like myself again and get back to doing what I love. Erase the failure.” I didn’t say anything. Her voice got soft. “It’s been hard, Skyler. You know that.”

“I know.” I’d seen it firsthand and would love to see her happy again, thriving. This job seemed to be what she wanted. I wanted her to want me, though. I stared at the ceiling and said the one thing I knew to be true. “I love you Carrie. I love us.”

“Me, too. So much.” A pause. “They would want me in Seattle tomorrow.”

“God. Tomorrow? That gives us no time to think or react. Can we just slow down? Please, please, please.”

“I hate it, too, but they’re ready to move. It’s a contingency of the offer. I’d start right away. They don’t want a gap.”

I couldn’t find air. My lungs felt shallow. Balloons with holes in them. “I’m coming over.”

“I’ll be here. Maybe we can talk it through.”

I left the ladder right where it was and grabbed my keys. My mind raced, and I did my best to figure out how to respond to what felt like quicksand. I wanted to support her—in fact, I had to—but I selfishly wanted her here with me. More than that, I wantedherto want to be.

When I arrived at Carrie’s place, I found her in the bedroom, suitcase open on the bed. I felt the blood drain from my face and I paused in the doorway. The world slowed down to a sickening pace. “So that’s it? You’ve made up your mind.” I blinked at the offending suitcase. I’d never hated an object so much in my life. I wanted to kick the thing. Hurl it out the window. Instead, I sagged.

Her face had apology written all over it. “I don’t know. I just…There’s a flight tonight that would have me there in enough time. I don’t know that I can make myself get on it, though. Not if you’re not there with me.”

“I want to be, but—”

“Your dream job is at your feet.”

I nodded, lost, unsure what to do.

“And I was there for you at your side, supporting you every step of the way.”

“That’s true. You were.”

“Please do that for me now. Please.”

This was a horrible situation. “Then I guess the only thing for meto say is get on that plane. Find your happiness.” God, the words gutted me. I didn’t mean them. I wanted tobethat happiness, and learning that I wasn’t enough was information I’d have to set aside for later.

She picked up a blouse and placed it inside the suitcase, and it took everything I had not to take it out again.

Desperate now, I was ready to put it all on the line. “We love each other. We both said so. We can make it work, right?” But inside, I was no longer sure. I was wildly off balance and hurting.

---