Page 64 of The Last Lavender Sister

“There was nothing about the little scene I saw play out moments ago that indicated anyone had moved on. The temperature in the room went up three degrees, and the sad quotient tripled.”

“I can make it cooler in here,” Gina offered.

“We’re fine. But thank you,” Brynn said.

“My point is that you’re not a happy person.”

Brynn gaped. “That’s an awful thing to say. Yes, I am.”

“See? You don’t even know what happiness feels like enough to identify it. You’ve beenexisting, and for what?”

Brynn had no rebuttal.

“Please listen to me when I tell you that this is your second chance. She’s here. She’s amazing. And clearly still has some feelings of her own.”

“It all feels like too much.” The fear, the intensity, the jaggedfeelings that always overcame Brynn where Aster was involved. She’d been free of facing them for a while now, and it felt like she was staring at the beginning of something terrifying. “I don’t know if I can.”

“That’s bullshit because you’re the strongest badass I know. Start acting like it.”

Gina’s eyebrows went up.

“Are you about to push me like those football players before a big play?”

“No.” Tyler seemed to think on it. “I can.”

“No violence,” Gina said, pin in her teeth.

“Sorry, Gina,” they said in unison.

“Plus, we probably won’t need violence. If Brynn ever wants to feel again, she knows what she has to do, who she has to talk to, and what she has to fix.”

This was a wallop, coming from the person who knew her best these days. “Whatever happened to dear sweet Tyler?”

“She’s a mama bear now.” Tyler offered a wink.

* * *

The wedding wasn’t huge or overly lavish. After losing their mom earlier in the year, it didn’t feel right, according to Sage, to throw a huge shebang. Plus, he and Tyler had never been that kind of couple. Their love was sweet, quiet, and pure. Aster thought they’d done a remarkable job capturing all of that in the decor and the aesthetic of the event. The ceremony began at seven in the evening as the sun set on the horizon and lightning bugs began to appear. Sixty white chairs were assembled into six rows divided by an aisle. An archway with white twinkly lights covered Sage as he waited for his bride, Aster at his side along with a few of his closest friends.

“You ready for this?” Aster said in his ear.

“Don’t make me cry,” he said back, but his throat was already strangled, and she knew he had only a few moments before the first tear spilled over. As it should be.

Eric Clapton’s “Wonderful Tonight” played as Tyler’s first attendant, Eve from the clinic, walked down the aisle, followed by the clinic’s receptionist, Joan. The two smiled widely with the perfect kind of softness for the occasion. Aster felt the well of emotion hit beforeshe even saw her. Brynn appeared from around the corner and paused at the top of the aisle looking like an angel. Aster’s breath caught and her hands trembled. Refusing to steal a single second from her brother’s moment, she used one hand to steady the other as Brynn began to walk toward them with a single long-stemmed rose in her hands. The sky was a cobalt blue, and the music hit its crescendo as if sewn to Aster’s own heart. This wasn’t fair. This so wasn’t in bounds. Images of what could have been floated over her like snowflakes. She wondered what their wedding would have been like. She imagined Brynn walking down the aisle to her. In the small space of time, those fleeting seconds, she allowed herself ownership of the daydream. Enveloped in happiness, she beamed, connecting with Brynn, meeting her gaze for a few treasured beats before restraint took over and she slammed herself back down to Earth. She ached for the other version.

Once Brynn took her spot across from Aster at the front, she tried to focus her attention on Tyler, on the romance between her and Sage and how wonderful the occasion was. She was ripped from those efforts repeatedly because all she could think about was Brynn and her proximity. In spite of it all, Tyler was radiant, Sage beamed, and the ceremony was every bit as gorgeous as they deserved. Aster stood next to her brother as he looked Tyler in the eyes and with a strangled voice promised to love her forever. Such a far cry from years back when he denied there was a romantic feeling in his body for her. How time changed things. Another look across to Brynn, who didn’t look away, her expression unreadable.

The ceremony concluded, and the group moved indoors for cocktails and celebration. The mood shifted, reverence out the window and revelry in full effect. Joan and Eve were already dancing as they moved through the buffet line, shaking their asses and hip-bumping in celebration of their boss and friend. Sage had already loosened his tie and lost his vest, a sure sign that he’d be dancing for hours. He’d always been good on a dance floor. Aster played it low-key. She stuck close to her dad to make sure he was okay, his first big family event on his own.

“You don’t have to babysit me,” he told her around his beer.

“Well, can you babysit me then?” she’d asked quietly. “I’m not great at big events.”

He’d smacked a kiss on top of her head, his beard scratching herforehead the way she remembered from her childhood. Having a job was helpful and kept her focus narrow. Any lapse had her skin tingling at the thought of Brynn celebrating in the same room. Brief visual check-ins told her that Brynn was also staying busy, taking her role as maid of honor quite seriously. She brought the couple food, drinks, arranged for each formal event with the DJ, and rarely stopped moving around the room.

“Go dance,” her father said, once the dust settled and the formal toasts were done and the party began.

“I’m good.”

---