Page 85 of Dream a Little Dream

“Best compliment ever.” She tapped the doorframe. “Okay. I’ll let you work. Just wanted to say hello.”

“Good to see you, Kyle.” There were so many other words threatening to burst from my chest, but I held them back, remembering my chosen path. Safety first these days. My new motto.

“About the flowers? I want you to know something. I won’t be sending any of those, but only because what you need right now is space. You’ve asked for it, so that’s what you’re going to get. However, just know that I’m here. Your friend if you need one, and I’m not going anywhere. Okay? I’m here because you are, and that’s not going to change.” She nodded, tapped the doorframe again. “I hope your day is amazing. I’m gonna grab some milk and then sleep for about six hours.”

“Okay,” I said because I had no other response to offer. Sitting at my desk alone, I was off-kilter, adrift in this new understanding. Kyle hadn’t left town because ofme.

She was still here, forme.

That was…a new feeling I wasn’t sure how to ward off. So instead, I tucked it away. I’d be lying if I said it hadn’t been really nice to see her in the middle of my day. I turned to my screen because a distraction was definitely in order. I was getting good at utilizing those. Plus, the cereal wasn’t going to order itself while I sorted through the last ten minutes of my life. I clapped my hands in front of the screen and wiggled my fingers as they descended onto the keyboard. “Let’s go, Cap’n Crunch.”

Chapter Twenty-six

Floppy-Necked

Was it selective perception that I seemed to have short little run-ins with Kyle all over town? Maybe even just coincidence. Or was it more likely that she was consciously keeping an eye out for me?

“I promise I’m not stalking you,” Kyle said when I ran into her at the card and stationery store. Well, that was a semi-answer to my question. She seemed to be perusing the small grouping of journals one aisle over. She wore jeans and a brown leather jacket, an outfit that I refused to give too much attention to.You hear that, brain?

“Well, we do live in a tiny town,” I said around the mountain of heart-shaped pillows that separated us. With Valentine’s Day just days away, the store looked like Cupid had moved in and personally decorated, without parental supervision.

“Are you two finding everything you need?” Sariah Bright asked. The name was fitting because this woman was always smiling, even when it looked like it pained her to do so. She had her long dark hair in a ponytail today that swung to and fro when she walked. Sariah could easily be described as very happy Hallmark. Very much appropriate for this store. However, in my less-than-thrilled-with-life era, she came across as very much annoying.

“I am. Thank you,” I said, applying extra interest to theYou’re Doing Greatgreeting card I perused for Charlie. I placed it back in its holder and selected a second one. A tortoise in a bandage with the lineSlow and steady wins the race. Get your rest!

“Fantastic,” Sariah enthused. “Dr. Kyle?” Everyone apparently called her that these days. I couldn’t blame them. It worked. Respectful yet personable. Kyle deserved as much.

“So these are two for one?” Kyle asked, holding up the leather-bound journals in a variety of colors.

“Until close of business tomorrow they are,” Sariah said in a singsongy voice. She had to stop with the happiness bombing. I’d pen a letter to management, but if I remembered correctly, that was also Sariah.

Once she’d swung her ponytail back to the counter, I peered over the hearts at Kyle. “Taking up writing?”

“Yes, in a way.” She came around the corner for a more one-on-one exchange. I had the feeling she didn’t want to broadcast what she was about to say. “After my struggles in the ER, I went back to Zoom sessions with my therapist back home.”

“Oh, yeah?” That was an interesting development. Something adjusted in my chest, and I softened. “Kyle. I think that’s great.”

“It has been. She’s given me some helpful exercises to work through some of those fight or flight instincts.” She held up the short pile in her hands. “I’ve been journaling on my breaks and thought I’d pick up reinforcements.” She flashed a killer grin. “Plus, who doesn’t love a good sale?”

“Sariah certainly agrees.” My attempt at levity. I touched the journals. “This is a good move. I’m”—I was about to sayproud of you, but the intimacy attached felt like a step too far, given the barriers I had purposely erected—“thinking that’s a good-looking group of journals, too.”

She looked down. “I like them, too.” She took a step back as if she was about to take off and pay. “How have you been? Good?”

“Me? I’m working a lot.” It was about all I had to offer. I wasn’t good. I was lost in a loop of trying to forge a new path forward while grieving for the things I’d almost had. I kept myself on a short leash when it came to feeling my own feelings and wondered how much journaling a therapist might prescribe me. Maybe I should pick up one of those things while it was on sale.

“Well, I know it’s busy at the store, and the changes are honestly so much fun,” she turned her head to the side, her hair cascading over one shoulder, “but find time for some things that make you happy. Grab some ice cream on the boardwalk. That kind of thing.”

“I broke up with you and you’re still looking out for me?” I had meant that to be an internal thought.

Kyle cradled the journals at her side like a bundle of schoolbooks. “Always. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. I’m not goinganywhere.” She met my gaze and held it. “I hope you find the perfect card.”

I looked down at the tortoise candidate in my hand, the pleased grin on his little tortoise face. I allowed myself to enjoy it because just as Kyle had reminded me, it was the little things. Maybe I could make more of those add up. I had a library FaceTime with Jonathan tomorrow. I could maybe even allow myself to look forward to it.

“Someone is dreaming about Valentine’s Day,” Sariah said as she passed behind me. I realized that I, too, was grinning like my tortoise friend. Just to be nice, I didn’t even correct her.

But that certainly wasn’t the last time Kyle and I circled each other in this town. I found myself anticipating when the next encounter might be, my skin prickling with goose bumps whenever I even thought I’d catch sight of her. Our exchanges were always short, low pressure, and actually really nice. We checked in on each other, exchanged smiles across rooms, and Kyle, to her credit, was always entirely respectful of my romantic boundaries and never crossed any lines.

I saw her at least once a week at BeLeaf, often in line for coffee in the morning, sometimes on the sidewalk in the heart of town, and more often than not at Ronnie Roo’s on the night of key sporting events. I now realized the full extent of her interest in, honestly, all sports. It was the early celebration of MJ’s birthday that stretched the limit of our friendly/supportive interactions. MJ, who’d been incredibly understanding when I yet again let her know that romance was not in the cards for us.

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