Page 80 of The Romance Rivalry

But it was worth it. Spending those last couple hours with my folks and siblings was worth it. Solidifying that I have a place in our family, worth it. And having that feeling of driving up to the dorm parking lot, climbing my stairs to my door, and letting myself in, greeting my roommate, already asleep on her bed, by collapsing on top of her and hearing her mumble “welcome home”... all worth it.

I escaped college a week ago by train, alone. And I return feeling fortified, more certain of what I have to do, and ready to get to work.

And though I’m exhausted, look a wreck, and have a nasty bout of heartburn, I run into the lecture hall first thing this morning and scan the room with equal parts anticipation and anxiety. Okay, that’s a lie. It’s like eighty-eight percent sheer terror I’m feeling. But there’s no denying I missed Aiden all week. A six-foot hole in my heart. So that other twelve percent is holding strong, excited to see him.

My eyes land on the back of a head I’ve become very familiar with. Long neck, strong jawline, hair newly cut in a tight fade in the back to longer strands in the front. Just as I clock him, as if he senses me, he turns and looks back, doing his own scan of the room. When his eyes meet mine, they look uncertain. But that’s okay.

I’m certain enough for the both of us now. It’s my turn to come to the rescue.

I hustle down the stairs to the row where Aiden’s sitting and drop myself into the seat next to him. The feeling of déjà vu, hearkening back to our first day in this class together, is undeniable. Good. I get to start over. I get to remove him from the enemies-to-lovers bucket, complete with all the insecurity and trauma and damage I’ve made up in my mind about what that trope means, and reclassify.

“Hi,” I croak out, the sound more hungry-monster-come-to-eat-you than carefree, flirty coed. His eyes widen in shock as I slap my hand over my mouth. I clear my throat and try again. “Hi,” I say. “Sorry, I was going for nonchalant, slightly breathy, kinda sexy. But I had some unresolved phlegm in my throat.”

His eyes dance as the sides of his mouth twitch, fighting the smile. “I see. Well, I’m glad you got that taken care of. Hi. Did you have a good Thanksgiving?”

“I did. I, I never got to ask you what you ended up doing. I thought about you, a lot.”

I may be imagining things, but I’ve done enough staring at Aiden Jeon to catch the slight release of tension in his shoulders. Relieved? Happy?

“I went to my brother’s apartment and we spent the weekend together. We tried to cook a turkey dinner but it went horribly wrong so we ended up eating KFC and playing video games most of the time. I think it was good for him to unplug from his med-school life.”

I nod, relieved Aiden had somewhere to go and someone to be with. Still... “And your parents?”

“They called and we did an awkward but nice family FaceTime. They both were working. Holidays are busy hospital times, apparently.”

My fingers itch to reach over and hold his hand, tooffer some comfort, to let him know I’m here, I’m listening, but...

Oh, fuck it. Fuck all my insecurities and uncertainties. I grab for his hand anyways. But in the midst of my hoorah, grab-the-bull-by-the-horns moment, it’s my right hand that makes the move. Problem is, Aiden sits to my left, forcing me to reach across my body, and across his, to take the least convenient hand in mine, leaving my entire body now twisted and leaning on him, face inches away from his. Well, this is uncomfortable. Public space and all.

This time he doesn’t hold back. The full smile appears, complete with dimples, and I melt into him. “Well, hello there,” he says.

“She-makes-the-first-move trope,” I say.

He nods. “Exhibitionist trope,” he laughs.

“She-whoops-his-ass trope,” I add.

“I-sure-hope-so trope,” he counters.

“Get a room,” a guy a couple rows behind us says.

We look at each other, both sets of eyes dancing, and mouth “trope” at the same time.

I hold his gaze for just a second longer, drinking in the attention, and then I pull away, back into the more appropriate confines of my own chair. “Sorry,” I say over my shoulder to the other students around us who I’ve subjected to our show. “It’s been a few days since I’ve seen him, and...”

“Welcome back, class. Hope you all had a great holiday.”Dr. Kingston arrives right on cue. Saved by the surly professor. “Not to be the bearer of bad news, but we only have a few short weeks left before team projects are due. I trust you all are well rested and ready to put in the work to get these in tip-top shape to turn in. A reminder that fifty percent of your grade relies on it.”

The spike of my ever-present anxiety shows up like clockwork. But this time, it’s not followed by panic. Nor is it followed by denial and the temptation to play ostrich, bury my head in the sand. Nope, I’m ready. There’s still a lot of work Aiden and I need to get done, but I’m motivated and determined to pass this class.

“Oh, and before I forget.” The professor’s eyes scan the room and land exactly on me. “Irene Park and Aiden Jeon, I’d like to speak to you both as soon as class is done. Hang around a minute or two, if you don’t mind.”

I feel Aiden’s eyes turn to me, wondering what this might be about, maybe even worried that I fucked up, again. But I don’t turn to him. Instead, I keep my eyes on Dr. Kingston. I nod and smile in understanding. The professor smiles back. Good. This is all good.

Aiden leans in and whispers, “What’s going on?” God, he smells so good. I’ve missed this smell so much. I want to take one hundred deep breaths of it to calm my nerves. I want to bottle it and then bathe in it.

“It’s all gonna be okay, I promise,” I say. “Trust me?”

I’ve given him no reason to. In fact, I’ve given him many reasons not to.

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