Page 48 of Hate Game

And he says I’m the pessimist. “I hate you for being a Debbie-downer. Stop raining on my parade, Malice Sterling.”

He ignores my sarcasm. “Are you planning on staying in Delridge?”

“Forever.” I lie.

Why tell him of my dream to live in a big city like Montgomery and work for one of Riley’s friend’s brothers flipping houses? He’s already put me in the same boat as Isaac, that I’ll amount to nothing and will take my last breath in this small, backward town.

At least with Arie’s family, I’ll fit right in. Her family is as messed up as mine. Riley said Arie has four siblings, with a fifth on the way. She and her two half-brothers have different fathers, while the fourth and soon-to-be fifth kids have the same father.

“There’s more to life than living in these dead-end towns. Why don’t you move in with Riley? She can help you make new friends.”

And watch Riley go through the same love-to-hate, hate-to-love situation I am going through with Malice, except with Midnight? Oh, hell no.

“I don’t want to be a burden.”

“Your uncle?”

“What about him? Are you saying I’m a burden to him?”

“Fuck, no.”

Thank goodness Malice doesn’t think so. My uncle’s fiancée kept saying I was one whenever I brought home less money.

“I have no idea where he is,” I admit. “I came back from picking up my last pay from the old lady I dog-watched for, and the house was empty and up for rent.”

“Heabandonedyou?”

The story of my life. “I hate you for giving a crap.”

“Ditto.”

He takes another turn. The road is familiar. We’re driving to the spot where we lost our virginity to one another. My heart beats out of control. My mouth is dry.

“I hate that you traded your truck for this shiny piece of metal. Hate that you never asked how I was after… After what happened.” My miscarriage. “Hate that you moved on and left me behind.”

Where is all this emotion coming from?

“Rue.”

I shake my head. “I’m sorry. That was…” I sigh. “That was meant to stay in my head.”

“Don’t.” He reaches over and covers my hands on my lap with his big one. “Don’t keep silent. Hate on me, Rue. I can take your disappointment.”

The road goes from smooth to bumpy. We’re on the dirt road leading to the spot beneath the willow tree. A question loops in my mind. I shouldn’t ask it. Asking will get me in a world of hurt. But Malice wants me to talk. He wants to hear in words how much I hate him.

“Did you trade in the truck for the GT-R because you wanted to forget what we did?”

“Would we be here had I forgotten how you moved and moaned beneath me?” Said with need and anger. How can he want and hate me at the same moment?

He removes his hand from over mine and parks. There are rolling hills of green grass for miles. Rain pelts the windshield, and the windows fog up. I undo my seatbelt and face him. “Ihatedhow much you wanted me. Yousmothered me with your huge body and kept me from breathing with the needy way you kissed me. I hated every moment with you.” I don’t. What we did lives in my dreams. I remember every moment. “I—” I blink back the tears. “I hate you, Malice.”

He sighs, and it’s heavy. “I hate you too, Regret. Hate that you surround yourself with a loser who doesn’t know your worth.”

If he thinks that lowly of Isaac, then in his eyes, I am just as worthless.

“I hate that you hide your feelings behind a steel wall. Hate that you don’t let people in,” he continues.

How can he say that? I have friends, and my feelings are out in the open. Or is Malice projecting onto me how he sees himself? Two guys make up Malice’s friend group, and since our hate fest began two years ago, he hasn’t let another girl into his life.

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