Page 33 of Odin

"Sibyl may study my hammer for as long as she wishes, as long as it is within arm's reach for me to use it to defend her, as necessary," Thor said.

Thor would never have been parted from his weapon in the past. He must truly love this woman to surrender it to her, something Odin would never have believed possible in a man who loved battle more than anything.

Odin had always envied Thor for his clear, uncomplicated views on life. Thor went for what he wanted without worrying about consequences, or whether he might not achieve his heart's desire. He kept no secrets, and Odin was fairly certain the man was incapable of lying.

Even now, in a world so alien to their own, Thor had met a woman, fallen in love with her, and persuaded her to marry him. No wonder Odin envied him even more now.

Thor would never understand his relationship with Frigg, or why Odin had withheld the truth from Freyja.

But it was time to come clean. She deserved to know everything. Not just about the curse, but about Frigg, and all the things that had led up to this moment.

Odin scooped up the box. "If you have need of me, you will find me in Freyja's chamber," he said.

The door was locked, so he stepped though the wall. She was sitting on her bed, staring sightlessly at the wall, too deep in thought to notice him at first. Then she blinked, frowned, and said, "Didn't Vikings do privacy in your time? You could have at least knocked."

Odin perched on the corner of her bed. "I feared you would not have allowed me to enter."

"Well, yeah. Privacy. I'm still trying to get my head straight with...all this. You. Them. Learning I had sex with a thousand year old man. That's a hell of an age gap, and while I was falsely accused of necrophilia in the past, now I might have actually done it, and I'm not sure I know how to feel about that. Worse, I liked it, so what does that say about me?" There was an edge of hysteria in her tone, and Odin knew that was his fault. He had driven her to this, and he owed it to her to help her make sense of it all.

"You told me about the shameful things in your past. About the man whose selfish actions drove you to flee your home. I told you a little about losing my son, and you were...kind. Sympathetic. Things I did not deserve, for I did not tell you everything. For a start, I did not tell you about my wife."

"Yeah, you really should have. I mean, if the wound's still too fresh, I get why you might not want to talk about her, but I deserved to know."

Odin nodded. He opened the box and laid it on the bed. "This brooch belonged to my wife, Frigg. It was her dowry, a gift from her mother. She was wearing it when she died, and I wore it every day until the night I was cursed. Your people found it in the ice, near where I was buried."

Freyja picked up the box and peered inside. "It's beautiful," she breathed. "Is that amber and gold?"

"Yes. Such a jewel would have fed my entire village for a year or more, and there were some long, cold winters that Frigg offered it up in order to do so, but I would never allow it. It was hers, and I intended to lay it on her grave, buried in her ashes, once I had seen justice done for her death. Alas, I failed, and my shame brought me to you. My own men do not know what I am about to tell you, for I fear they would desert me if they did. I have already lost what little regard you might have had for me, but you deserve to know the whole tale. You only saw the monster when I showed you my cursed form, but I fear the monster that lies inside has hidden within me for much longer than that. Will you do me the honour of listening to my tale, though I know I do not deserve it?"

Freyja folded her arms across her chest. "If it explains how a man can sleep for a thousand years and wake up in my lab. Not because you deserve it, but because if I end up going to prison because of you, then I deserve to hear this."

Odin took a deep breath, and began.

THIRTY-EIGHT

"My father was the chief of our village. We lived on a narrow strip of land between the mountains and the sea, which gave our people access to unique trade goods, as well as making it difficult for raiders to reach us. This did not stop us from sending raiding parties up into the mountains, to raid hunting camps or herds sent up for summer pasture, but most of the time we spent our time fishing and farming, and we sent out trading caravans to other villages. We were known to have superior warriors, and my father insisted that if I wished to be the chieftain after his passing, then I would need to learn to be the best warrior, as well as the best trade master, so I was sent out often.

"One particular mission, my father had made it known that he wanted me to find a bride, a girl who would bring wealth and connections to our village, so everywhere I went, the other chieftains threw their daughters and unmarried sisters in my path. Most of them were comely and welcoming enough, but none of them distracted me from what I felt was my true quest: a successful and profitable trading mission.

"Until I met Frigg. She was slightly older than me, and unlike the other girls, she slammed my jug of mead down in front of me with a scowl and said she'd rather marry my horse than any man, and she'd thank me if I told her father so, for he would not listen to her. I laughed, and offered to share the jug with her if she would tell me why she was so fond of horses.

"It turned out that she had met one of the southern missionaries, the men who claimed there were not many gods, but only one, and that under his worship, women had formed into communities of learning where they did not marry, and could live their lives as they pleased, for the good of the community. I was fascinated by her story, particularly as my father had insisted I learn to speak and write Latin as well as Norse, and I had never met a woman who shared my love of learning."

Freyja blew out a frustrated breath. "So you fell in love with her on the spot and got married?"

Odin laughed. "Wherever did you get that idea? No, of course not. We drank mead for most of the night until we were quite drunk, and I woke up in the back of the cart, with the sun high in the sky, swearing I would never drink again.

"Some months later, after arriving home at the end of a successful trading expedition, my father fell ill and died, and my people voted me into his place. The first snows had fallen and we were busy preparing stores for winter, when a girl in rags entered the village. She had been badly beaten, and she refused to see a healer until she had spoken to me.

"Of course, I agreed. I offered her hospitality, as was proper, and asked her who had done this to her. She looked me squarely in the eye and said, 'You did.'

"I had never beaten a woman in my life, not even a shieldmaiden when we were out raiding, so I was about to send her away, when she told her tale. You see, this was Frigg, and sometime that night, drunk on mead, we had shared a bed, and she had fallen pregnant. She had never been with a man before or since, so she knew the babe was mine, and she'd told her father so, but he called her a whore, beat her, and cast her out. Her mother had given her a small bundle of clothes, some coins and this brooch, but with winter coming and no idea where to go, this had not lasted long. In desperation, she had come to me – a woman who would rather marry my horse than me.

"She had tried to go to the Christian community, but they had turned her away, for they only accepted scholars with a large donation of wealth, and they preferred virgins, not fallen women with children underfoot. So one night with me that I did not even remember had cost her the dream she cherished – and I owed it to her to make reparations.

"I offered to let her stay here the winter, until she gave birth to our child, and then on our next trading mission, I would take her to the convent myself, with a large enough donation to see her working in their scriptorium for the rest of her life, as she wished. She accepted my bargain...until the day after our babies were born, for she was carrying twin sons. I do not know if it was her love for Vali and Vidarr that made her stay, or her belief that I had no idea what to do with two newborns, but we struck a new deal. She would marry me, and remain my wife until our sons were grown, and then retire to the convent. I, in turn, would teach her what I knew of Latin and runes, so that she could teach them to our sons.

"So Frigg became my wife, and to everyone in the village, we were a couple in love. We never fought, and when I was away from home, she took charge of the village, and no one, not even me, disputed her right to do so. She was the best chatelaine I have ever known, and even in the longest, coldest winters, we never went short.

---