Page 51 of Stuck on the Slopes

“Look at me.” It was a gentle command accompanied by her fingers lifting my chin up, forcing eye contact. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of, and I wager it’s healthier to let it all out.” Rachel lifted herself from her spot between my legs to sit on the couch beside me.

When Rachel gingerly reached out a hand to place on my upper back, testing the waters to see how I’d prefer to be comforted, I buckled. Had my head been clear, I’d have brushed her off with a shove, but tears blurred my vision as anxiety did to my senses. After bottling everything up for the last four, almost five years now, I couldn’t run from my feelings anymore. I pulled her into me and buried my face into her hair as I let the tears flow, a cross between mortified and relieved when her arms wrapped around my torso.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“As you saw when you got sick, I’m kind of a worrywart. Have been since the accident, all because my dumb ass decided to push myself on a day I shouldn’t have. I was feeling the pressure, ignored the warning signs, and the next thing I know, I hit a tree. Fucks you up when your life flashes before your eyes like that, you know? Ever since then, my head goes to dark places quicker than it should.”

“We have everything we need and each other. I won’t let anything happen to you, and I know you’ll do the same for me.”

I took another deep breath as my tears spilled. Rachel reached for the coffee table for the tissue box on there and grabbed me one, dabbing my eyes with it. Her touch was so gentle that it snapped me out of my panic.

“Thanks. After today, please pretend you never saw this.”

“So, what made you buy this place, anyway? I don’t think you ever told me.”

I licked my lips as I thought about how much to say. Maybe it was the way we were trapped in here with nothing else to do but talk to each other, but my heart tugged me toward her. As much as I didn’t want to say anything out of habit, I said, “This was the first place I ever went snowboarding. My parents and I used to come here all the time. So, when I saw it shut down and for sale, I felt like it was my calling.”

“Your calling?”

“What the hell else am I gonna do, you know?” I sniffled. “I’m a retired snowboarder who has no other life skills. Sure, I had a few brand deals, but no one wants to work with the guy forced to retire because of an injury when active athletes can sell it better. I’m useless now.”

“Juniper, you’re not useless. Don’t say that.”

“It’s true. I’d dedicated my whole life to snowboarding. Then just like that, poof, it’s gone. So, without running this place and breathing new life into it, I don’t know what my purpose is. Maybe I can give other kids a chance. Focus on maintaining safe conditions and educating people so what happened to me doesn’t happen to anyone else.”

“While that’s noble and I’m glad you found a new purpose, you not being able to snowboard doesn’t mean you’re useless.”

“Tch. Tell my family and the press that.” I frowned. “So, I haven’t told anyone this, but I can never snowboard again. Strictly forbidden by my surgeon.”

“Oh, shit. That has to be hard. I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Everyone keeps asking me what’s next or when I’m going to have a comeback. Except there is no comeback from this, and no matter how many times I try to tell them I’ve retired without getting into detail, they don’t believe it. They tell me they believe in me or that this won’t be forever, except itisforever and there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m just letting them down.”

“There’s so much more to you than that, Juni.”

Juni?She’d never called me that before. Normally, I hated nicknames, but it sounded right coming from her lips. “Is there? All anyone cares about is when I’m going to hit the slopes again.”

“Yes! It’s not your fault they’re not willing to look past an old job. That’s all it is: a career. It’d be no different than if people only asked me about my old job before I came here. And believe me, some people have been, but my point is there is so much more to you than that.”

“Well, I’m glad at least one of us thinks so. Thanks, I guess.”

“You haven’t told anyone that?”

“No. You’re surprised?”

“Yes and no. I mean, I get that you’re quiet, but it’s got to be a hard pill to swallow by yourself.”

“Enough people have burned me to make it hard for me to trust.”

To my surprise, Rachel reached for my hand. Her own wrapped around my fingers and gave them a squeeze. My mind demanded I yank it away, but her hands felt so warm against my own that it made my heart thrum in my chest.

I haven’t had physical contact like this with someone in over four years. Even hand-holding had me dizzy.

“Well, thank you for trusting me with this. Don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me.”

I stared at my hand in hers, feeling like a weight was off now that my secret was out. “You have a good heart. No wonder you left corporate America. It doesn’t suit you.”

“Hold on, is that a compliment I hear coming from you?”

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