“Why wouldn’t I?”
“Because I’m your boss. Because I’ve got physical and emotional baggage. I dunno.” He swallowed. “Sorry, I’m not trying to make it weird.”
After four, almost five years, it was no wonder he was emotional.
“Juniper.” Saying his name seemed to be enough to snap him out of his spiral. “You’re not making it weird, I promise. I’ve wanted you for a while now, too.”
He exhaled a laugh. “I’ve never been happier to be wrong about something.”
Last night and this morning, Juniper laid himself completely bare to me. Now, his walls had crumbled around him, the sarcastic armor stripped and left behind on the floor with the rest of our clothes.
“You are so much more than just my boss.” I cupped his cheek with my palm; he leaned in right away, no longer afraid of affection. “And you are so much more than your past and any baggage you carry.”
He took hold of my hand, fingers curling around my palm, and brought it to his lips so he could kiss my knuckles. His movements were slow, tender, and methodical. It was as if he let go of some invisible, significant weight with every kiss on each of my fingers.
“You left so much behind for me. A literal stranger. Why?”
“My job treated me like shit, and it was a purely impulse-driven decision. But there is not a single day that goes by when I’m not grateful I got on that plane. Sure, I came for the money, but I stayed for you.”
“Speaking of which, I really hope I didn’t fuck everything up.”
I shook my head. “No, Juniper, no. You didn’t fuck anything up.” To see him so nervous and unsure didn’t feel like him. The cool, collected, and cocky Juniper amounted to nothing but a front for the jaded, self-conscious man within. “Our working relationship was always pretty unique, anyway.”
He kissed each knuckle again. “Sometimes, I think you’re the only person who really sees me.” Juniper went to continue, but the loud beeping of the snowplow drowned out his voice. He closed his mouth and smiled instead.
Once the plow cleared the way, we redressed and made the trek outside. Now, there was a flat path leading straight from the cabin back to the lobby. We’d still have to trek through the snow, but ankle-deep certainly beat six feet.
“I vote we head back to freshen up before we even consider tackling the rest,” Juniper said. “What do you think?”
“I’m not about to argue with you about that.”
Once we were outside, Juniper laced our fingers together with trepidation. “Is this okay?” His expression was as flat and serious as ever, even with the gentle curiosity behind it.
When I looked at him, he looked at me with an expectant gaze, waiting for the answer. “You just fucked my brains out and you’re worried about holding hands?”
He scoffed, back to his usual self. “Well, excuse me for checking where the line is drawn in the sand.”
“Missed opportunity to say drawn in the snow.”
He rolled his eyes and groaned, melodramatic on purpose. “Oh, for fuck’s sake.”
“Seems a little backward is all I’m saying. But yes, of course, it’s okay.”
“Maybe it does, but this doesn’t come naturally to me. I hope you can be patient with me as I figure it out.”
I squeezed his hand. “Aswefigure it out.”
Juniper smiled. “We.” He cleared his throat. “Also, know there’s no pressure, ever. Just because I sign your checks at the end of the day doesn’t mean shit. Tell me to piss off if you want, and I promise there will be no repercussions.”
“I know. You don’t strike me as the kind of guy to go on a power trip like that. You never have.”
“Come on,” he said, nodding his head to the front door as we approached. “Let’s see how much Sasquatch has missed you.”
“Missedus.”
“Mm, no, probably just you.”
Chapter 16