Page 83 of Stuck on the Slopes

“Do you need anything?” Juniper asked. He discarded the condom in the bus box for now, with plans to throw it away once we brought the dishes back.

I shook my head. “I’ll grab the dishes if you wanna fold up the tablecloth. We should probably wash it for Edgar.”

“Hang tight. I’ll help you.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. This’ll take but a second.” He folded the tablecloth and tucked it under his arm.

“Say, I just realized.” I grabbed the bus tray and carried it with my left arm, propping the right side of it against my hip for extra support. “Does Edgar have security cameras in here?”

“Outside and in the kitchen. None here, though.”

I sighed in relief. “Okay, one less thing to worry about.”

“We’ll, uh, have to keep that in mind for any other locations we decide to try out around here,” Juniper said.

“Not gonna lie. You surprised me with that one.”

“What can I say? You’re helping me come back out of my shell. Figured something like this would help me be a little less afraid of public appearances.”

I snort-laughed. “That’s one way of looking at it.”

“Something like what?” We looked up to see Veronica coming through the back door of The Elk’s Head. “Sorry, I couldn’t help but overhear. Since when are you afraid of public appearances, Junebug?”

Juniper sighed and gritted his teeth. All enthusiasm left his voice when he said, “Please don’t call me that.”

Whatever Veronica said next, my brain didn’t register. All I could think about was how heavy the bus tray was, but I couldn’t set it down just yet. After all, if I did, then our used condom would be out in the open for her to see. I wasn’t sure which one of us would be more mortified if it were to come to that.

“You could have come to me for help, you know,” Veronica said.

“Let’s be real. You don’t even believe I’m disabled. No, I couldn’t have.” He looked at me, ignoring her, and said, “Here, Rach, let me help you with that.”

“It’s fine, really.”

“No, no, I got it.” Juniper grabbed each end of the plastic rim and set the box down. To my horror, his first task was picking the used condom out of the bin and then dumping it in the trash. Half-eaten chunks of orange chicken followed. In an attempt to act like nothing was amiss, I stepped in beside him and grabbed some plates, cleaning them in the sink in front of me.

If Veronica noticed, she said nothing. Never before had I felt so self-conscious about my movements, hoping I looked like a normal human instead of a robot.

“So, this is your life now?” Veronica lifted her hands but then let them fall back to her sides with a light slap.

“It is. And for what it’s worth, I much prefer it this way.”

“You know, I have your Christmas present in the car, but I don’t even know if you’ll want it.” Veronica’s voice cracked. “I got you some new boots in case you decided you did want to snowboard again.”

That wasn’t a gift for Juniper. It was a gift for herself—for her own self-importance she got from viewing her son as an extension of herself instead of as his own person, even well into adulthood. I had sorority sisters in college with parents like that, too afraid to let go and accept that their children were adults.

It made me even more grateful for my own; Ima and Abba encouraged me and Sarah no matter what we did (within reason, of course), letting us discover ourselves instead of dancing a sad, sorry tango. Despite being a Rabbi’s daughter, there was never any pressure to be perfect or to act a specific way. Any and all pressure came from me struggling with my own insecurities, not from my parents or the Reform synagogue my father hosted services at.

Juniper sighed and pushed his bangs back with his hand. “Well, as you now know, I can’t use them. It’s not a matter of wanting. You can either return them or leave them here and I’ll include them in our rental stock. It’s up to you.”

A choice: to walk away, or to accept who he was regardless of his ability to get on a snowboard ever again.

“I’ll return them.” Veronica frowned. “Merry Christmas, Junebug.”

Juniper didn’t reply as she turned and walked out the door.

Chapter 23

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