Prologue - Ava
Like anyone haunted by demons, I’m always visited in the darkness. The quiet beckons the memories closer, allowing the monsters in my mind to take root and wreak their destruction in my already shattered mind.
I can still remember what it felt like to be a child, full of innocence, and still be able to believe that those around me would care for me, be my friends, and love me. I’m not entirely sure when my innocence was replaced by the demons that haunt me today, but it was long before childhood was even over—solidified by my tormentors and bullies in high school and now enforced by my captors.
The old pipes groan and clang in the background as I stare into the fire. Although the pain feels like a weighted chain around my neck, the greatest of my demons has a very clear face and a name; though I hate to say it or think it, it seems to be lodged in my heart.
Callum.
If I had never known what happiness felt like with him, I wouldn’t understand what it feels like to live without it now. It wasn’t happiness, though, was it? Not really. It was just a fairy tale I made up in my head. And now, all I’m left with are monsters.
I smoothed out the lines on my dress. It was only a simple green summer dress, but it was my best one. I had darted around the cabin, avoiding my parents so they wouldn’t see me wearing it—my mom told me to save it as my ‘best.’ But I didn’t know what that even meant anymore, because it was clear this family wasn’t going to have any ‘best’ days.
That wasn’t true,actually.I was living my best days right then, and I never wanted themto end.
It all started when the alpha’s oldest son, Callum, was injured on the first day of the tournament camp. Although we heal fast, it wasn’t going to be fast enough due to the breaks in his leg, so our teacher arranged for him to do a special project, and the only person left to help…had been me.
My parents never engaged with the tournament. They didn’t engage with the pack, full-stop, and I was sometimes surprised they even bothered sending me to high school. My brother Charlie left long ago and lived with some friends on the other side of town; I still saw him around, but he tended to look the other way if he saw me or our parents. I tried not to take it personally; I knew his quarrel was more with them.
The thought pulled me up short, but I did my best to shake off the sadness as I continued down the track toward Callum’s house, grateful for how quiet the town was with most of the younger members still at camp. Nothing was going to ruin that day.
Those past few weeks with Callum were magical. He seemed reluctant to hang out with me at first; peopleusually were because of my family, but I knew we both felt an inkling of the bond. I knew it wasn’t just my imagination or wishful thinking.
Callum was the most popular boy in high school—hell, in the whole pack. He was never one of my main tormentors at school; to be honest, he didn’t talk to me enough to bully me, but he was always there on the sidelines watching. I don’t think we’d said more than two words to each other since we were pups, and yet there we were. We were foisted together for this project, but now there was so much more between us. It had become clear we were mates. We’d been so happy together. He was so handsome and strong, and over the last few weeks, I’d discovered he was funny and playful, too.
The first time we kissed was more than I ever could have imagined.
We’d been studying, or at least pretending to study while listening to music. The house was otherwise quiet; the whole pack felt peaceful with so many away at the tournament. It’s like we were in our own little bubble.
I caught him looking at me out of the corner of my eye, “What?” I asked, suddenly feeling self-conscious.
“You really are beautiful, you know.” He said, holding my gaze. “You shouldn’t let anyone tell you any different.”
I tried to shrug it off. I didn’t want us to talk about anything serious; I liked our bubble, where we ignored the reality of our very different situations. “That’s easy for you to say,” I replied, hoping he’d change the subject.
Instead, he leaned in closer, and my heart almost stopped. “I know. But you’re funny, clever, and so goddam beautiful, " he replied, nodding almost shyly. The honesty reflected in his eyes made my breathing stall and my pulse race.
The next thing I know, his lips crash onto mine, and I freeze, unsure what to do. As the kiss deepens, I sink into his embrace, and the weird thing is, it feels like coming home—like I’m meant to be in his arms and nowhere else.
It feels like happiness.
And when I gave myself to him a week later, it was like our wolves rejoiced. I had no hesitation. Then, for the first time, I couldn’t wait for the tournament; it would be the first time I wasn’t simply part of an outcast family existing on the periphery; I’d bewith Callum. Maybe I could reconnect with Charlie. It felt like everything was possible for the first time in my life.
The track to Callum’s house felt so familiar by then.I felt happiness radiating from my wolf as we approached. As we did, the scent of multiple wolves ahead slowed my speed. I glanced through the trees and saw Callum standing outside with his brothers and a few elders. I could immediately sense something is wrong. My wolf demanded that we go to Callum, so I broke from the trees. I could feel the bond pulling us toward him. I just wanted to make sure he was okay.
The moment he saw me and broke from the group to walk toward me, I knew I’d made a terrible mistake. His eyes were cold, his face unreadable. I’d already dealt with enough brutality from my own family and seen disgust reflected at me from the pack to know what that look meant. My wolf howled at me to do something, but instead, I just braced myself, praying that I was wrong and he’d take me in his arms.
“What do you want?” he snapped, loud enough that the other wolves looked over.
I didn’t want to embarrass myself, so I smiled and replied, “The project, I’m just here about the project.”
He scoffed. “I should have known your lot wouldn’t have heard the news. My father is dead. Everyone is heading back from the tournament early, and there will be a new alpha. You can tell your parents if they’re sober enough to hear it. Now leave.”
His words cut like a knife, but I was sure it was because he was in pain; I could feel it through the bond. His father was a mean old man, something I thought we both understood. I reached for him, and he startled and jumped back. “What the hell are you doing? Don’t touch me, you weirdo.”
I stumbled slightly; glancing around, I saw a few wolves smirking, and my face began to burn. “I just thought…we’re frien—”
“Oh my god,” he groaned, “I knew letting you do that project with me was a bad idea. You’re as weird as your parents. Go back to that creepy cabin and stay away from me. I’m going to be alpha, and I’ve more important things to do than deal with you.”