Page 2 of Beneath the Fame

“But here you are, sitting next to your award-winningco-starfor a major role, on a major television show,” he countered. “Babe…make it make sense.”

I laughed. “Well…as I’m sure Alec experiences as well,” I started, trying to make sure the focus for this whole thing didn’t end up on me. “We’re never only interested in like…justone thing. We’ll have something we’re known for, sure, but it doesn’t mean we don’t have other passions to pursue. I was lucky enough to have the chance to audition for the show, and it just felt like the right thing to do.”

“So it didn’t have anything to do with you needing to put some distance between you and a certain scanny-scandal between you and another rappity-rapper?” Arnez asked, and my eyes went wide.

“Oh, we’re starting early then, I see?” I laughed, choking down a gulp of my drink.

I was going to really need it if things werealreadygoing down this particular path.

Would I say I had regrets about my filthy affair with a recently divorced rap-legend who’d aged like fine wine since his time as a poster on my teenaged-bedroom wall?

No, not at all.

We were both good and grown, and good and single.

Did Ihatethe way the world found out something that was absolutely supposed to be just between us?

Yes.

Yes, I did.

Despite usbothbeing violated by the “leak” of the hidden cameras his ex had “accidentally left behind” in his house, social media had turned against…well, mostly me.

The narrative became that we must’ve been messing around before his divorce, but I legitimately wasnotthat type of bitch, and I rapped about it often.

And still, the internet believed what it wanted.

For the years I’d spent being the voice of the supportive homegirl in everybody’s head, suddenly I was just a slut, and all I did was show my body and rap about my pussy, blah, blah, blah.

Honestly…Ididwant a break from it.

But more than that, I wanted to prove that wasn’t all I was, by a long shot—there was real talent in me in other areas, and I was gonna make everybody who doubted me feel it.

“Sooo…?” Arizona urged, and I stalled a bit by sipping from my drink again.

“I’ma be honest,” I said, shrugging off the urge to deflect. “Ididwant to give people something else to talk about, you know? Everybody was making that situation seem like something it wasn’t, and it was pissing me off. Mostly because I don’t even get down the way it portrayed, and the fact that the lie was so easily believed…it made me feel like maybe I hadn’t done a good enough job letting the world know who I really was.”

Arnez nodded. “What is it about this that’s going to make them see you differently?”

“Mostly? Proving that I don’t have to fuck my way to the top, like some of these blogssworemust be the case,” I said, keeping it candid. “If my music career is at the end over some bullshit, that’s cool, because I’m gonna be good regardless. I’m a great rapper, but I also write, I sing, I act, I make pottery, and I’m good at all of it. And even if I wasn’t, my family and myrealfriends? They got me. Everything else is extra.”

“Oop. She toldy’allbitches,” Arizona chirped. “’Cause I been a baddie, still a baddie, gonebea baddie, ’til the wheels fall off.”

“There’s a baddie in all of us,” Alec spoke up, for the first time since earlier, making everybody turn to look. To more than justmysurprise, he held up his drink for a little toast. “To the baddies.”

“I know that’s right, you better support your co-star,” Arnez yelled, then took a sip. “We on yo’ ass next though, bookie.”

Arizona’s head bobbed as she agreed. “We sure are. ’Cause um…speaking of trying to switch up public opinion, sir,whotold you it was okay for you be on prestige TV being grown?!”

“Right?!” Arnez exclaimed. “Cussing and drinking andhunchingthat on that random lady from the club in episodeone. I saw that and looked at Arizona likeI know that ain’t who I think it is!”

“You did more than look like it—you yelled it at the screen at the premiere, didn’t you?” Alec asked, and Arnez waved it off.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, I would not behave that way in public. And we not talking about my behavior anyway, we’re onyou.”

“That’s fine,” Alec shrugged, “I’m ready for whatever you throw at me.”

“You make it sound like we’remessy,” Arizona gasped.

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