Page 17 of Beneath the Fame

Tohim.

But…in the moment, pressing myself into him, tipping my mouth into perfect position, sending him an unspoken command tokiss mejust seemed…natural.

So I did.

Andhedid.

So soft at first I really could’ve imagined it, but when I didn’t move away, he did it again. Just a little more pressure, lips seeking permission I easily gave in order to get the kind of firmness Ireallywanted.

Lips.

Tongue.

His handsactuallyslipping down to my ass this time, pulling me into his steadily growing erection. I moaned against his mouth, caught just the slightest bit off guard by the prominence of it, which he must’ve taken in a way that wasn’t how I meant it.

“Shit,” he muttered as he pulled back, pulling his lip between his teeth. “Van, I?—”

“It’s fine,” I quickly told him, putting a hand to my mouth, still a little surprised. “I mean…Iwantedyou to do that, so?—”

“I know,” he said. “But still, we…”

“Probably shouldn’t?”

He nodded. “Yeah. I’m gonna go.”

This time, I didn’t stop him.

Because as much as I might want the distraction, I knew I shouldn’t take the chance of making things weird.

Idefinitelyneeded that drink now though.

And maybe a lukewarm shower.

ChapterFive

ALEC

We hadto switch things up with the scene.

The scene,as if it were the most pivotal thing in the show.

Important, yes, so nobody wanted to completely cut it, but everybody was on board with making the adjustments needed to bring it firmly inside the walls of Vanessa’s comfort level.

Which had changed since the sex tape leak.

The full nudity was out, which meant re-choreographing the whole thing, which Charlotte and the intimacy coordinators worked on. By the time they were done with it,personallyI felt like the scene was more in line with Jude and Kami’s personalities. It showcased more of the urgent passion of the moment, how the desire that had been brewing under the surface suddenly overwhelmed their disdain for each other.

And…the new scene gavemea little less to stress about too.

Not acting on sexual urges was the easy part—tamping down the body’s physiological response was much, much harder. With the things that went through my head where Van was concerned, her being essentially fully clothed—her wardrobe change to a dress meant just hiking it up—was definitely a Hail Mary for me.

Even though nowIwas going to be the one with my whole ass showing.

“You’re literally leaving me out in the cold by myself on this,” I wanted to joke with her on set, but it was…sensitive.

I wasworriedit would be sensitive, more accurately.

So instead of joking to lighten the mood, I opted for simply doing my job as professionally as possible, and hoped we’d still be able to look each other in the eyes after.

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