“Everything’s perfect, man. Everything.” Craig, my best man sat and watched me come apart.
“It’s going to be a beautiful ceremony.” Paul, Craig’s husband, added to the chorus of “calm the fuck down” that all of my groomsmen had been singing to me.
We were crowded in a room off the main church sanctuary. It was far too hot and I wanted to rip the tie off my neck.
My groomsmen stared as I first stood, then sat, then paced. They were a mix of models, photographers, and some friends from my darker days before I met Jess. But they were all good men, to the last one.
“I have to see her.” My heart was beating out of my chest. If I could just see her, just touch her, I could calm down.
“That’s against tradition.” Paul shook his head.
“I don’t give a fuck about tradition.” I went to run my hand through my hair but Paul stood and held out his hand.
“Stop! The stylist worked too hard on that perfect fauxhawk for you to fuck it up.”
I dropped my hand. He was right.
“Okay, I have an idea.” Paul smiled.
“Famous last words.” Craig crossed his arms over his chest.
“No, babe, it’ll work. Hang on. I’ll be right back.” Paul hurried out.
I paced even more, peeking out the clear sections in the stained glass to see the neverending procession of guests arriving.I need you Jess.
After far too many minutes, Paul returned and waved me out the door. “Come on.”
My heart thumped against my ribs with the hope he’d thought of some way for me to see her. I followed him through the back church hallway and down a side aisle to the church lobby.
Craig was on my heels. “Is this a good idea?”
Paul whirled. “Remember how nervous I was before we got hitched?”
“Yes.” Craig nodded. “You only tried to call it off a half a dozen times.”
“What did it take to get me down that aisle?”
Craig grinned. “If I remember correctly, a kiss and a little something else.”
“Exactly. Now, I love you, but shut the fuck up.” Paul turned and kept hurrying through the church.
I was just glad that I seemed to be moving in Jess’ direction. We entered the church lobby and I could almost feel Jess nearby.
“This way.” Paul pressed past a couple of guests and into a side hallway. He ran right into Daisy, who’d blockaded a door that was marked “bride’s quarters” on a cutesy chalkboard.
The maid of honor narrowed her eyes at me and stood up straighter, staring me down.
What the fuck is her problem?
“I just want to see her, okay?” I said. Daisy and I weren’t fast friends, but I didn’t know why she was looking at me like I was the enemy.
“Really?” She pulled a crumpled piece of paper from behind her back and shoved it into my hand. “You sure you don’t want to seeherinstead?”
I opened the paper. I could feel the blood drain from my face as I saw the photograph. It was the one the paparazzo took of Sadie and me after the shoot at the beach. It looked even worse than I thought—her pressed against me in what looked like an intimate embrace as she kissed me. From the angle, it looked as if she were kissing me on the lips.Motherfucker.
I balled the paper in my fist, squeezing my fingers until it was nothing but a tiny wad of bullshit. “Has she seen this?”
“Yes,” Daisy hissed and leaned toward me. It would have been menacing if she weren’t built like a ballerina.