Page 57 of True North

I sip my drink and set the cup down beside me.

“Well, tell me something I missed.”

He scoffs. “Could take a while.”

My heart flops.

I missed so much. I missed him. I missed the years that formed him into this man in front of me. And he missed mine. We can never get them back.

“Pick one, Harry. You have god knows how long to tell me them all, so just start with one.” His eyes pin me, tightening like whatever’s trapped his mind hurts.

“I was proud, Iamproud of you for leavin’,” he finally chokes.

My mouth gapes. “But I?—”

“No, you did what was best for you, Lou. I was an idiot if I thought what I, we, had back then was enough.” He shakes his head.

My heart aches watching him beat himself up for his past decisions. God, I have made some doozies. That’s half the reason I ended up back here. I slide off the tailgate and push between his legs. His head lifts, his eyes finding mine.

“I thought I would find what I needed on the other side of the country, Harry. I couldn’t have been more wrong.”

His Adam’s apple bobs. He blows out a breath and grips the edge of the tray. “Your turn.”

“You want me to tell you something from the last ten years?”

“Yep.” Blue eyes pin me down where I stand.

“Okay... I wanted to be the next Julia Child.” I chuckle as the words leave my mouth.

He frowns. “The who?”

I crack up. Of course, only Harry Rawlins would have no idea who she is. I dot a kiss to his cheek and whisper, “A culinary goddess who gets paid to be on TV.”

Strong arms wind around my waist. His mouth hovers by my ear. “The only goddess I ever met is standing right in front of me.”

Electricity skitters over my skin. My stomach bottoms out as lava glows to life low in my belly.

“Well, maybe she shouldn’t have run away...” I pant.

“I still would have loved her, anyway,” he says, the words raw, gravel.

It’s like a hit to the heart.

I push up and meet his gaze. I knew we thought we were serious back then. Just teenagers. But to hear the words from him now...

It’s both devastating and healing at once.Would have. Not does.

I fold my arms over my chest. “It was a lifetime ago.”

“Lou,” he says softly.

“No, it’s a decision I have been tortured by for the last ten years. I know we were kids. But I never saw it as something premature. I still don’t. That’s why I had to...”

“Had to what, Louisa?” He slides off the tailgate and closes the space between us.

“Why I had the Brad buffer. Dammit, Harry, I have no control over the things you do to me. And that’s terrifying. Because if I let you in,reallyin. There’s no coming back from that. If you walk away, I drown.”

“Hey!” His hands grip my upper arms, dark gaze burning into me. “You described the exact way I feel about you. Except, I couldn’t leave. I didn’t want to leave. Still don’t. Tell me, Louisa, runnin’ on your mind this time?”

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