Page 29 of Natalie's Nighthawk

“I don’t want to leave you again.”

Her tiny hand lay against his cheek as she gave him a look of pure understanding. “You are needed, and I realize now how important your work is. I’ll always be here.”

Would she? Would she always be there for him?Swearing softly under his breath, he kissed her briefly and forced himself to walk away.

Out in his truck, he drove through the snow blanketing the highway with only one thought on his mind, he wanted to go back to her. No, he needed to go back to her. He needed to show her that she was just as important to him as his work.

He knew he was needed, he understood that, but words his brother had told him the previous week passed through his mind. David had said he had a superhero complex. It had always been important for him to be present at each mission, but for the first time since he’d started down the SAR road, he wanted to be a bit selfish. He needed Natalie. Didn’t he deserve some happiness?

Besides, there were enough Nighthawks that could do the job just as well as he could.

Having reached a decision, he slammed on his brakes and skidded to the side of the road. No one else was out in this weather, but he didn’t want to risk it. Pulling out his cell, he called David. It was time for him to find a life, and the life he wanted included a woman he’d just left alone in a duplex in Lake Haven.

Back on the road, Graham found a spot to turn around, hoping his truck didn’t get stuck in the snow. He raced back to Natalie, driving much too fast for the conditions. But all he could think about was getting back to her, holding her, and kissing her. He groaned as his body began to respond to the directions his thoughts were going.Down boy.

Before he could knock on Natalie’s door, Maddie opened it. “I heard your truck. Didn’t think you’d be back tonight.”

“Yeah. I wasn’t needed after all.” He stomped the snow off his boots while shaking the flakes out of his hair. “Is she here?” He didn’t see Natalie in her living room.

“She’s upstairs in her studio.” Graham started for the stairs. “Graham …” she hesitated. He paused and looked at her questioningly. “Be careful with her,” she pleaded.

“Of course,” he vowed.

“I know you will. It’s just that … she’s got scars, both inside and out. Her ex …” she broke off.

“She told me it ended badly, but that’s all. What happened?” His curiosity peaked, and his worry. He needed to know what Maddie had meant by scars. He remembered the dark look in her eyes when he’d broached the subject of her ex. And the fear.

“It’s not my story to tell. If you truly care for her, just be patient.”

“Thanks, Maddie, I will,” he promised. He gave her a brotherly kiss on her cheek. “I swear I’ll treat her right.”

Seemingly satisfied by his answer, Maddie nodded toward the stairs. “Third floor. She’s got her earbuds in, so she probably won’t hear you enter.”

He thanked her again as he headed up the stairs taking them two at a time.

Chapter 10

NatalielostherselfinherworkafterGrahamleft.Tryingnotto feel like she had been abandoned … again, she needed something to distract herself. She understood what he did was important, beyond important.

She got that lives were on the line, but it felt like someone was messing with them. Twice now he’d been called away while they were enjoying dinner together.

That kiss. That had beenhot!If she had been prone to swooning, she probably would have then. And when he’d pulled her closer, she moaned at all that hardness pressed up against her softer parts.

Maddie used to talk about some men being ‘sex on a stick.’ Graham was that?pure sex. She’d never experienced such all-encompassing kisses, nor felt such passion in one moment, not even with her ex, and that scared her more than anything. Unwittingly, she touched the small scar on her throat, still able to feel the trickle of blood that slid down her neck, even all these years later.

It was hard to imagine Graham ever treating her like Erik had. Things had started well enough with Erik, then he’d started to change. Drugs had pushed him over the edge, of course, but he had started to become more and more possessive of her even before the drugs. The drugs fueled his paranoia, his only outlet for venting his suspicions was Natalie herself. As his drug use increased, so did the violence. That final night had taken her years to recover from, both physically and mentally.

She’d held Graham in such high esteem for so many years and measured every man against the teenage fantasy. If she took things further with him and he turned on her as Erik had … she didn’t want to even think about what it would be like. She’d loved Graham since she was twelve years old, couldn’t imagine that love ever fading.Hehad the true power to break her.

Maddie would tell her to go for it, that she deserved to be happy.

She turned to grab the blue paint, and there he stood, the manifestation of her fantasies. A thrill erupted inside her; at least until she saw what he was looking at. She had stacked them in the corner of her studio and promptly forgotten about them; the dozen or so paintings she had done after Erik. Her psychologist had called it therapy, and she supposed it had worked, but they were dark. She called that her Hollow Phase; there was no joy, no light in those paintings. She had dumped all her dark feelings on those canvasses until she had felt carved out, hollow inside.

Graham held one canvas that was the most heartbreaking. There were birds in most of her work, and her Hollow Phase was no exception, though most of the birds were unrecognizable. They were grotesque, demonized versions of her birds, dark and shadowy, as she had felt when at her lowest. The background gloomy and bleak, no light in their tiny eyes, no joy in their flight. They were nothing but hollow, just as she was.

The one Graham was studying was the closest representation of Natalie. The background a swirling vortex of dark colors, a void. A chickadee fought the crushing emptiness, its wings broken and disfigured. Feathers shattered, its little body crushed even as it struggled, its beak open, crying out in fear and helplessness, a stark hysteria rampant in its eyes. That was the last painting she had done in that period and it had been a cathartic emptying of her soul. She had drained all her dark, evil feelings onto that canvas. It had cost her much to complete it and she had felt empty afterward. It had taken months to recover but slowly, the light had returned.

She hadn’t been able to bring herself to get rid of those canvasses. Gauging by the expression on Graham’s face, they’d inspired questions that she wasn’t sure she was ready to answer.

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