Page 31 of Natalie's Nighthawk

He’d never heard anything so horrifying, and it shocked him. His sweet little chickadee had truly been broken, just like the bird in the painting.

“They say I died or was close to it,” she continued. “I stopped breathing. Maddie kept me alive until the paramedics arrived. She saved me so many times that day, and in the months that followed, she was always there.”

Graham smiled. That’s how it was with him and David. “You were there for her after the tornado,” he reminded her.

“I hope we’re even now. I don’t want either one of us going through anything like that ever again.”

“You won’t. You’re not alone anymore, and neither is Maddie.” And he meant that with everything that was in his soul. His little chickadee would never be broken again.

They took a break from talking, both needing to let it settle. Together they burrowed further into the couch, Natalie tucked up tight against his side. Both lost in their thoughts as they stared into the flames of the fireplace.

Graham didn’t consider himself a hero, but he’d spent all of his adult life rescuing people. It almost broke him to think that he hadn’t been there for her. Not only had he not been able to save her, but he also hadn’t been aware that she’d needed saving. He regretted his lack of action twelve years ago more than ever. He should have looked for her; it would have been so easy to find her. The question was, why hadn’t he?

Something had changed in him that afternoon at the lake. He’d felt things that he’d never felt … and hadn’t since. Those feelings had scared him, and it had been easier to stay away. As a nineteen-year-old, he’d been terrified that she wouldn’t feel the same way; he would have been heartbroken.

But he was older and wiser and wouldn’t allow his emotions to chase him away from her when he’d been given a second chance. If he’d learned anything in the intervening years, it was that Natalie had no equal.

She was the missing half of himself that he’d been searching for.

They’d been quiet for a while when Graham asked hesitantly, “What happened … after?”

She remained silent for so long he wasn’t sure she was going to answer. She sighed heavily. “I spent a week in the hospital. He’d nicked my kidney, which they were able to repair. I had a couple of dozen stitches up my back. Three stitches on my neck. But it was my throat that took the longest to heal. It was a long time before I could make a sound. Longer still till I was able to talk without pain. It was May, and I wasn’t able to go back to my job, so I took a leave of absence for the rest of the school year. It killed me not to be able to work. I had so much time alone, too much. Too much time with only my thoughts. I was in therapy, but that didn’t do much to alleviate the doubts and the fears … the memories and nightmares. That’s when I began painting. The ones you were looking at earlier I call my Hollow phase. That’s how I felt at the time, a deep, dark, hollowness inside. It felt like I’d … I’d ...” She trailed off, at a loss for words.

“Like you’d never feel the light again,” he supplied. Graham knew that feeling well. That was how he’d felt when his dad had found him in the cabin after the tsunami. It was dark. Hollow, just as she described it. He realized then that he’d been just as broken as she’d been. “What happened to Erik,” he asked before she could question him about what he’d meant.

“He got ten years, with a chance of parole after four. He’s currently serving out his sentence in central Michigan. He was up for parole last year, but Maddie and I spoke at the parole hearing and his parole was denied.”

“I’m glad.” They were quiet again for a bit. “Natalie?” She looked up. Those lovely green eyes looked at him with so much trust. He wondered she could trust anybody after what had happened to her. “Thank you for telling me.” She smiled the sweet smile that was all her own. Then she pushed herself up so she could put her lips to his, giving him a chaste kiss, but he wasn’t quite ready to let her go. He wanted to hold her tightly and safely in his arms, away from the evils of the world. He laid a hand on her cheek and drew her closer to him with the arm that was wrapped around her back. But as he gazed into her tear-filled eyes, he suddenly felt apprehensive.

She’d been through a horrible ordeal. Someone she’d once loved - had once trusted - had hurt her horrendously; yet here she was, letting him hold her. Opening her trust up to him. He worried after hearing her story that he was moving too fast. He started to pull away to give her some space. But she threaded her fingers into the hair at the back of his head and brought him closer. Then her mouth was on his.

Natalie nibbled his lips until he surrendered to the sensation and was plundering her mouth. He would never get enough. Never wanted to have enough. He would never be completely sated, but he wanted to spend the rest of his life trying. With her initiating the kiss, she’d completely obliterated his anxiety.

Never breaking their kiss, Graham turned them slightly, then leaned back against the arm of the couch, pulling her with him until she was sprawled across him. His hands automatically sliding around her, he held her tightly to him, pressing until she squirmed against his erection.

Graham’s hand slid beneath her oversized sweatshirt; her smooth skin heated with his touch. He caressed her lower back, but as he moved his hand slowly higher, he felt the texture of her skin change. A scar … or scars. Like dashes up the left side of her back he traced them, his heart aching for her. For the pain she must have endured. Shaking himself free of his thoughts, he continued to caress her back, his hand moving steadily higher. Higher. Pausing when he reached her bra. He felt her stiffen and pull away from him.

“Graham,” she hesitated. “I haven’t been … I mean … since Erik.” She was babbling, and yet she made perfect sense to him. He remembered Maddie’s words.Be careful with her. Be patient.

“I know, Chickadee,” he assured her as she struggled to find the words. “I’m not asking anything more of you than just this right now.” He kissed her softly. “Just this,” he whispered as he pulled her head down to his shoulder. They lay there together, content to just be with each other. He softly stroked the skin of her lower back, reveling in the feel of her under his fingertips. She was idly circling her finger on his chest.

“Why did you come back so quickly?” she asked suddenly. “I thought you were needed for a rescue or something.”

He smiled into her hair before kissing the top of her head. “I realized it was time I grabbed something for myself.” He’d spent the last twelve years giving himself to everyone else. Helping everyone. Volunteering everywhere. That had been all that mattered to him, until Natalie had walked into his life again and suddenly, it was time.

Time for him to go after whathewanted, whatheneeded. She didn’t know it, but she was rescuing him from himself. The Nighthawks were going to have to get used to him not always being there, he would be too busy living his life. They’d be happy for him, especially David, who was always pushing him to find happiness.Thanks,David;I intend to.

“They really won’t need you?”

“My guys are well trained,” he assured her. “They can handle things without me every now and then.”

“You … the work you do … it’s so important. I never want to stand in the way of that. You amaze me,” she whispered.

“You are the amazing one.” She propped her chin on his chest to look into his eyes; doubt etched in her features. “You’ve been through so much, but here you are … with me. Allowing me to touch you. Trusting me.”

She smiled sadly. “It’s taken a long time to recover from what he did, and I still have days full of anxiety and fear. But I’m determined not to let it rule me, I don’t want him to steal my future.”

Graham cupped her cheek. She took his breath away. “Your strength astounds me. I hope you’ll let me help you in any way I can.” Staring into her bright green eyes, he wanted nothing more than to support her, stand beside her. She was so full of light even after the horror she’d lived through, she sparkled as brightly as a star. Her brilliance chased away the darkness that he’d carried around with him since the tsunami. Perhaps, together, they could be each other’s guiding stars, each leading the other back into the light.

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