Page 66 of Natalie's Nighthawk

“Okay. First of all—breathe,” Maddie ordered her. “Here’s what I know. That man moved heaven and earth to get to you. He spent the weekend in a constant state of panic because he couldn’t get hold of you. Even after I told him about the note I’d thought you’d written.” Maddie’s brow furrowed as she clenched her jaw, apparently still blaming herself for not realizing the note had not been written by her sister.

“That was not your fault.”

Maddie waved off her assurances. “He knew. He knew you hadn’t written it. Somehow, he understood your true nature. You wouldn’t have left like that. You would have talked to me. And he knew that you would have texted him back no matter how mad you were at him. He called me several times asking if I’d heard from you. He was so worried. Then yesterday when I called him about Lucy, he knew something was wrong. He could feel it. Only someone who was truly in love could feel that.”

“But …” She snapped her mouth closed when Maddie held up her hand.

“That man loves you more than I’ve ever seen anybody love someone before. And it’s a true love. Don’t be afraid to tell him how you feel. I know he feels the same.”

“How can you be so sure?” Still, she was hesitant, and she hated that. She started to nibble on her lower lip again.

“Oh, Natalie. You should have seen him. He was desperate to find you, and yet he stayed so calm and focused. He was so amazing with Lucy getting her to tell him everything she knew. We weren’t even halfway into the woods when it seemed like he knew where you were. I could barely keep up with him, he moved so fast. He heard you singing long before I did. I don’t know how he did it. It’s like he could feel you. Like he could see you in his mind’s eye. I don’t know how to explain it except to say he definitely loves you.”

Natalie mulled over Maddie’s words. She was still contemplating them as she walked through her front door. Her mind swimming with possibilities as she headed up the stairs to take a much-needed shower. She was distracted momentarily from her thoughts when she spied her cell on her nightstand.

Sitting on the edge of her bed, she turned her cell on. Once it had booted up, she called her dad. Maddie had been in touch, but Natalie had yet to talk with him. He was relieved to hear she was going to be okay and promised to see her at Christmas. He’d decided to divorce their mother and move back to Michigan, but he was going to make the move by way of a cross-country road trip. He wanted to see the sights before he was too old and feeble to see anymore, his words, not hers.

After hanging up with her dad, she scrolled through the dozens of texts and voice mail messages from Graham. Each one growing steadily more panicked. He knew he’d acted horrendously and had apologized profusely for the things he’d said and done that night. His voice sounded agonized as he begged her to forgive him.

But as the days passed, his messages had changed to unbearable worry. Her heart clenched at one particularly distressing voice mail where he begged just to hear her voice. He needed assurance she was safe. If only she could have returned that message. She would have, happily.

She slammed her phone down on the nightstand as anger suffused her. Anger at Lauren, who was still out there somewhere. How dare she try to rob something so special from them. She tried clenching her fists, but the bandages prevented it.

Frustration sent her to her feet, and she stalked into the bathroom and looked at her reflection in the mirror for the first time. Shocked at what she saw. Hollow cheeks, dark shadows under dull eyes. Her hair was a mess. She could still see dirt and blood embedded in the strands. She ripped the bandages off the hand she’d dug so hard with. The nails broken beyond repair. Cuts and bruises all over.

She very slowly and gingerly pulled her shirt over her head and saw the massive bruise over her damaged ribs. God, that was enormous. And ugly, a mass of dark colors. She didn’t know how it was possible, but she looked even smaller than she used to be.

She turned her back on her reflection and reached into the shower to turn the water on, letting it warm up as she removed her splint and her pants. Her ribs protested her bending over; she was so tired of being in pain. She popped a few pain killers before entering the shower and let the water rain down over her. The warmth slowly seeping in. Would she ever be completely warm again?

Christ. She couldn’t wash her hair by herself, her hands were too messed up.

The tears came then, and she sobbed into the spray. She’d nearly lost everything. Her life. Her love. But she had survived. She was home. Graham was here. Everything was as it should be, except it wasn’t.God! She couldn’t even wash her own hair. The unbearable hopelessness she’d felt after Erik threatened from the corners of her mind. She didn’t want to return to that hollowness, but how was she ever going to move past this when she couldn’t even do the simple things.

It was after the sobs sent her to her knees that she felt Graham behind her. He wrapped his arms around her and held her as she continued to sob, curling his body around hers. When the worst had passed, he helped her back to her feet and reached for the shampoo. It felt heavenly having his hands massaging the soap into her hair. He soaped and rinsed her hair twice; she watched as the dirt and everything from that awful pit swirled down the drain. Next, he grabbed her loofa and lathered that up too. He slowly ran it all over her body, his other hand sliding freely across her skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

He kissed her. Gently. Tenderly. Worshipping her with his lips. When the water started to cool, he turned it off and reached for the towels. Wrapping her in the soft terrycloth, he picked her up and carried her to the bed, gently putting her down.

Graham’s eyes surveyed her body, a crease appearing between his brows. He inventoried each and every bruise and cut before reaching for one of his t-shirts. He gently slipped the fabric over her head and helped her put her arms through the sleeves. He was so incredibly tender and gentle she felt the burn of tears behind her eyes. His adoration overwhelmed her, and the tears slipped out one at a time, following each other’s trail down her cheeks.

After stepping into a pair of boxers, Graham laid beside her; his remorseful expression making her heart hurt. He wiped her tears away, kissing her soothingly. Rolling to her uninjured side in his arms, she laid her head on his shoulder, inhaling deeply. He smelled incredible. A combination of her soap and the outdoors. She nuzzled her nose deeper into his neck, soaking up every smell, every caress, every moment greedily. Amazed that this incredible man was in her bed and treating her so passionately, so lovingly, while he combed his fingers lightly through her hair. As he gently worked out the knots, she felt her body begin to relax. She soon fell fast asleep, feeling cared for and safe.

Graham was restless, unable to sleep. He held Natalie and listened to her soft breaths as she slept.Fuck!He was so lucky. He had this amazing, wonderful woman in his arms, and she was safe. Why, then, was he so restless?

Because you are still acting like a coward.He hadn’t found the words to tell her how sorry he was for his behavior that awful night. And he needed to. Soon. She deserved to hear the words. To hear him apologize. Even if, she’d already forgiven him and was lying in his arms. She’d allowed him to take care of her. Touch her. Kiss her. Would she have done that if she hadn’t forgiven him? But he still needed to man up and give her the words.

And even more cowardly?he still hadn’t given her the most important words. He loved this tiny woman in his arms, yet he still hadn’t told her. He’d vowed to tell her the minute she was safe, and she’d been safe for over twenty-four hours, but he was still acting like a chickenshit. Somewhere, deep down, he knew she felt the same way, but his fucking head kept getting in the way.

Unable to sleep and not wanting to disturb her with his restlessness, he slid out of bed. In the bathroom, he spotted her splint. Grabbing it and his pants, he went back to her in the bed. As gently as he could, he wrapped the splint back around her damaged wrist. He left it somewhat loose so as not to wake her. They would tighten it later.

He slipped into his pants and pulled his cell out of his pocket, needing to check on the progress of the search for Lauren. Turning on the display, he saw there was a message from Natalie. He dropped into the small armchair that was nestled up against the dresser. When had he missed a call from her? After he pressed play, he knew.

She’d recorded it for him when she was in that godawful pit. When she thought she would die. Alone. In a deep dark pit. The painful ache in his heart had tears stinging his eyes. The sorrow in her voice hitting him like the tsunami hit the tranquil shoreline, with such a force it was devastating. She was saying goodbye, convinced she would never see him again. He felt shattered hearing her anguish.

Shit!She’d been through hell. No one should have to face their own death alone. Especially not twice like she had. But she had been grateful that this time she could say goodbye. Even if nobody ever found her phone, at least she’d said it.

But the thing that shredded his heart the most was hearing her telling him she loved him. She loved the time they’d had together. She wished for more time with him. Loving him. She felt some regret for the twelve years they had let slip by. She didn’t want to die with regret. So, she forgave his shitty behavior from the other night and confessed her love for him. Thanked him for making her so happy these last few weeks. She hoped that when she was gone, he would look back on their time together with nothing but joy because the short time they had been together had been the most joyous of her life.

Graham could hear the underlying anguish in her voice. The sobs she’d tried to choke back. Those sounds had been his undoing, affecting him deep in his core. He dropped his head into his hands, elbows propped on his knees as he listened to the message again. The second time just as heart-wrenching.

---