Page 94 of A Queen This Fierce and Deadly

She nodded, her eyes bright with tears she refused to shed. “Even when I learned of his death and was forced to accept he had been gone for days…if there had been any way to bring him back-—no matter how forbidden—I would have done it. Without hesitation. Perhaps…perhaps that was why I was so hard on you. Because I knew I would have chosen the same path, and I know you willsuffer for it.”

I had been forcing myself to block out the knowledge of what was coming. I believed Telean when she said the magic I had used was forbidden for a reason. And that the gods would demand a steep price for it. At first, I had assumed the price was the decimation of the hybrid camp. But… I knew there was worse to come. How long would Lorian be haunted by the dead? Would their presence slowly chip away at his sanity?

“Nelayra?”

I took a deep breath. “I…I saw my mother. When I turned time backward. And my grandmother.”

Telean’s eyes filled. And I told her everything. When I got to the part about the tiny lights they had given me, her mouth dropped open, until my voice trailed off.

“If not for that, I would think you had imagined it. That your air-starved mind had merely given you the hallucinations you needed in that moment.”

“What did they do?”

“You said pieces of yourself were…disintegrating.”

I nodded, and she sucked in a rasping breath. “You were losing your soul, Prisca. Your mother and grandmother gave you enough of their own to keep you alive.”

My mouth trembled, and I clamped down on it with my teeth, struggling to keep from bursting into tears. “Did… Do you think it hurt them?”

She gave me a shaky smile. “I don’t know. But they clearly believed this was the right choice. They obviously wanted you to return to your life and save the man you love.”

Tears rolled down her cheeks. “Forgive me,” she said. “I miss your mother. She was my best friend. We were supposed to have centuries.”

My own eyes burned, and she shook her head, wiping away her tears. “Your power?”

“I still can’t feel it,” I admitted.

I didn’t say how useless I felt, in the midst of a war without my power. How it had killed me when Rekja had leveled me with that disbelieving stare while Tymedes waited to attack.

Telean sighed. “You are more than just your power, Prisca. Look at how much power Regner has. And look at what he has done with it.” My aunt cupped my cheek, smiling up at me. “Even if your power never returns, I have no doubt that you will be a glorious queen.”

I hadn’t known just how much I’d needed to hear those words from my aunt. I was still desperate for my power, but Telean had taken the worst of the ache from my bones. At least for today.

Telean smiled. “Enough of this for now. Today is a happy day. Now, let’s get you ready.”

ASINIA

The day Prisca helped us escape Regner’s dungeon, Demos had begun to change.

He didn’t just transform physically—although watching him eat three or four courses for each meal, hismuscles straining against the seams of his clothes, had been…interesting.

No, he’d also changed in other ways. Those changes might not have been as obvious, but they were the important changes.

Gradually, he’d begun to let go of some of the bitterness I’d so often seen in Regner’s dungeon. The rage had transformed into a quiet peace—with occasional glimpses of his sly sense of humor. He still planned Regner’s murder with a single-minded focus that occasionally made even Lorian raise an eyebrow. But he’d seemed to find some measure of joy in life as well.

Tor’s presence… It had smothered that joy, strangled that humor, and turned any contentment into self-loathing. Gone was the wicked gleam in Demos’s eyes when he looked at me. Now, those eyes were blank, dark shadows beneath them.

I hated it. Hated that Tor had brought all of Demos’s guilt and self-contempt back to the surface. Hated that instead of talking to me, he was pulling away.

His conversations with Tor were short and clipped. The other man hadn’t attempted to rekindle their friendship, although I’d caught him staring at Demos occasionally while we traveled.

Now that we were in the castle, with plenty of room to avoid each other, Demos did exactly that. But Tor wasn’t the only one he avoided.

And gods, it hurt.

Pushing the thought from my mind, I pasted a bright smile on my face, making my way toward Prisca and Lorian’s rooms. This was my best friend’s day, and ifshe hadn’t yet noticed just how Demos was struggling, I wouldn’t be the one to point it out.

She deserved at least one day of true happiness.

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