Page 81 of This Vicious Dream

By the time the sun is high in the sky, we’ve made it through the center of the swamp.

Screams sound in the distance and Calysian angles his head, satisfaction flickering in his dark eyes. “Another regiment we won’t need to worry about.”

“Kyldare is here somewhere. Bridin will have ensured he’s the closest to the grimoire.” And if he’s that close, I can kill him before he gets to it.

The ground hardens, but we continue to lead the horses. A strange sense of grim anticipation gnaws at me, but when Calysian nods at a tiny pool of fresh water, we stop briefly to rest.

“You must have faced men like Kyldare before,” Calysian says. “In Regner’s court.”

“Yes. But I grew up in that court, and my father was favored enough that it gave me a certain level of protection.”

“And you hid your power.” Calysian’s tone is neutral, politely interested. But he’s studying me, his expression inscrutable.

“Yes.”

He’s silent for a long moment, as if waiting for me to continue. Hope lowers her head to drink, and I stretch my aching legs.

“That must have been…exhausting.”

“It was,” I murmur, wading through memories of court politics and power struggles, forever tinged with the dark, terrible fear of discovery. “You can only keep so much of yourself buried before it starts to burn you alive. Ironically, that’s almost what happened.”

“Tell me.”

I glance at him. He’s several footspans closer, his eyes intent.

“Why?”

“I want to know you. In exchange, I’ll tell you something about me.”

I wish I could say I wasn’t interested in his past. But in truth I’m fascinated at the thought of him wandering this world for so long.

Calysian gives me a slow smile. He knows he has me.

“Fine,” I sigh. “My father was one of Regner’s patriarchs. A powerful man who knew the truth of thecorrupt. He knew the so-called corrupt were hybrids—solely a threat because Regner couldn’t steal our power the way he could steal others. I was counting down the days until I would turn twenty-five winters and would be discovered. I knew of the dungeon far below my own feet, knew I would be burned with the others when I was caught.”

“I can’t imagine living with that fear.”

“It made me cold and mean. I hatedeveryone.”

“It made you a survivor.”

I swallow around the lump in my throat. “The day Prisca learned what I was…my father was ranting about the corrupt. He blamed them for my mother’s death and I could no longer control my power. Flames formed in my hands, and I knew my life was over.”

Hope nudges at me with her nose, and I stroke her silky cheek.

“You tried to take your own life.”

I jolt, and Hope sidesteps. “Shhh, it’s fine.” I murmur to her before turning my attention back to Calysian. “How did you know?”

“I know how you think. You wanted to die on your own terms. You never would have given Regner the satisfaction of watching you be hauled away. And you never would have allowed your death to be a spectacle.”

I stare at him. It’s strange how well he knows me, considering how few interactions we had before we met on this continent. “Yes. I touched my burning hand to my dress. And that’s when Prisca appeared. She used her own power, dumped water on my dress and told me the truth of the so-called corrupt. That’s when I learned that my father knew the gods had never demanded our power. And that Regner had been taking that power for himself.”

“I’m sorry.”

My eyes burn, and I blink away the dampness that clings to my lashes. Even after all this time, the betrayal cuts like a blade. “My father knew. He knew that the corrupt were just hybrids, living their lives. But he enjoyed being so close to the throne, would never give it up. When he learned I was a hybrid—and that my mother must have been one too…he looked at me as ifIhad betrayedhim.”

Calysian cups my face, tilting my head until his dark eyes meet mine. “You’re allowed to hate him. And to love him. You’re allowed to choose not to forgive him.”

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