Page 14 of No One Was Supposed to Die at This Wedding

“A favor to me? Ha! That’s a joke.”

“What did I ever do to you?”

“Please. You want me to tell everyone here, plusPeoplemagazine?”

“I’m sure everyone would beveryinterested to know whatever it is you think I’ve done. Do tell us. In fact, David, come here. Maybe you could whip up a suitable scene for us on the spot?”

David walks toward the group slowly. He glances at Emma,who looks like she wants to sink through the floor and disappear, then shakes his head. “I’m mixing out.”

“That figures.” Fred looks around and catches Emma’s eye. She’s on the verge of tears. “I’m sorry, honey.”

“Let’s just go.”

“Yes, Fred,” Tyler says, disdain dripping from his tongue, “run along.”

Fred mouths a second apology to Emma, then does a roundhouse maneuver that ends with his fist square in Tyler’s face.

He falls to the ground without a sound.

15In case you’re interested, the title isAmalfi Made Me Do It.

16Not to be confused with theNew York Timesbestseller list, which is probably even harder to get onto.

17It’s the signature drink of the book.

18The daily shooting schedule. First position on the call sheet goes to the most important actor on set.

19Final Draft is a screenwriting software.

20I found out he was still married to herafterwe’d been together for a year. It wasawesome.

21The funeral was for one of the people who was murdered in Italy.

22Where all of the actors sit around a long table and read the script together.

SANTA MONICA GOSSIP

@SMGossip

#BREAKING:A fistfight broke out at a party at #shuttersonthebeach tonight. Rumored to have been in attendance are the cast of “When in Rome,” which just wrapped production in LA. Starring Emma Wood & Fred Winter, who’ve been heating up the set since filming began, sources tell me this was their engagement party & they’re set to marry this weekend on Catalina Island. More to come.

10:34 PM · October 23 · X for iPhone

624 Retweets 59 Quote Tweets 1,295 Likes

Friday

CHAPTER 3

Do You Go Right to Hell If You Like Gossip?

I regret to inform you that no one died in this fistfight.

In fact, in the end, it wasn’t much of a fight. Despite the impressive punch, Tyler was out for only a couple of seconds, and then he sprang up like a jack-in-the-box and assumed some kind of karate pose that was, frankly, a bit embarrassing.

For him.

But before he could get off whatever Karate Kid move he learned from Mr. Miyagi, two security guards grabbed him under the armpits and removed him from the restaurant with a swiftness I had to admire.

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