Page 2 of No One Was Supposed to Die at This Wedding

The large pool of very red blood forming a halo around their body is one clue.

Their open-eyed gaze into the middle distance is another.

There’s no doubt about it: I’m staring at a freshly dead person in an eight-by-ten room. And the smell of their death—the iron tang of their blood, the fluids the body releases at that pivotal moment, theangerthat drove the knife that deep into their back, right up to the hilt—is almost overwhelming.

I put a hand out to steady myself, then stop before it touches the wooden doorframe.

Fingerprints. I don’t want to leave any, my murder-writer brain tells me even in this moment of panic.

I take a couple of shallow breaths and try to clear my thoughts. I need to tell someone about this, someone in authority, so they can call the cops and start up all of the things that come with a body.

Police. Suspicion. Fear. Questions.

So, first of all,fuck.

And second of all,again?

And most of all, though it’s not strictly my job, I’m probably going to have to solve this thing.

I mean, I’m right here on the spot. I told you I like puzzles and planning murders. Untangling the knot isn’t the same as tying it, but they’re related activities. And, as the “again” above suggests,this isn’t my first non-literary homicide. Three months ago, I was involved in a whole thing in Italy when I was on a tenth-anniversary book tour forWhen in Rome. I almost died and three people actually did.

I figured out who the murderer was just in time.

To save my skin, that is. Too late for the other victims, unfortunately.

Bygones.

I have some expertise in this department, is all I’m saying.

Some of the other guests do, too.

Plus, on closer inspection, Iknowthe victim, so...I’ve got to do it. I have to at least try to figure out the who, what, where, when, and why.

I get that you might have some questions, potentially about my choice to rhyme in a situation like this.

I do, too.

But I promise that everything important will be explained in due course.

And hey, we can solve this together, right? You’ll help me out?

Great.

Let’s begin.1

1Hello again. Eleanor here. Welcome to the footnotes. Yep, this book has them. Why? Because they’re awesome. But they’re alsooptional. If you want to skip them, do. I promise not to droptoomany clues in here.

Two Days Earlier...

Thursday

CALL SHEET FOR WHEN IN ROME—DAY 50

PERSONALIZED FORELEANOR DASH

YOUR CALL TIME: 7:30 A.M.

This is our last day of filming!

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