Page 119 of Gone With the Wine

My heart lodges in my throat, throbbing, stopping my breath. I’m stiff, frozen in place. As if he knows, Moose comes over and puts his front paws on my leg, staring at me.

Like with him, I have to let Bianca go, if that’s what she wants.

Chapter26

Bianca

“I’m a woman. I have needs.” I beckon. “Pass me the wine.”

Ana picks up the bottle of zinfandel. “Empty.”

“We need more.”

“I’ll get it.” Millie rises and heads to Ana’s little kitchen.

We’re sitting in Ana’s living room in her townhouse condo in Napa. It’s an older complex but she’s made her little place cute with funky furniture and art. I’m snuggled into one end of the putty-colored sectional with squishy cushions. Ana’s at the other end. Millie returns with a bottle of merlot and sits on the fringed pouf next to the low table, which is an old farm table with the legs cut down.

Millie pours more wine into my glass. “Okay, tell us what’s going on.”

I sigh. “The other night when we went to the harvest dinner at Belmonte, I found out that the reason Jansen got divorced was because his wife cheated on him.”

Ana gives me anand…?look.

“He didn’t tell me that himself. He told my cousins.”

“Oh.”

“Ohhh,” Millie says.

“Yeah.” My heart weighs about a hundred pounds. “He told me about the divorce, but he didn’t tell me that. And then he just blurted it out to strangers. So…I asked him why he didn’t tell me, and he said it’s not important.”

They both wrinkle their noses.

“But I felt like…I wasn’t good enough for him to open up to. I’ve told him so many things…about Papa dying, Mama leaving. Our crazy family. And I realized that he hasn’t really told me a lot about himself. I mean, basics, of course. I tried to get him talk to me and it didn’t go so well. It was after we discovered that Moose isn’t Benny.”

“I was so relieved about that!” Ana says.

“I know, me too! But Jansen was…weird about it. Like he didn’t care. But I know he loves that dog.” I pause. “He never really talks about his feelings.”

“Lots of guys are like that,” Millie says with a sigh.

“But Miles tells you he loves you, right?”

“Oh yeah.”

I nod, bowing my head. “I told Jansen I’m in love with him.”

They both make small noises.

“And then…he asked me to stay.”

“Aaaah!” Millie bounces in her seat. “So what’s the problem?”

“He didn’t say he loves me.” I press my lips together and rub the knuckle of my index finger at the outer corner of my eye. “I even asked him why he wanted me to stay. And he just s-said…he said he doesn’t want me to leave.”

They both gaze back at me with distressed expressions. “After you said the L word to him.”

“Yeah.” I nod miserably. “So I told him I’m leaving this weekend. I’ve booked a flight.”

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