Page 138 of Gone With the Wine

“I think he did know. But it’s good that you told him.”

“And I talked to him about you and how I felt about you and what a dumb fuck I was. It felt good.”

I relax back down against him. “That’s good.” I trace my fingers over the tendons of his neck. “I thought I could do this. I thought I could have a fling with a hot hockey player and then leave. I failed.”

“What is failure?” he asks. “What is success?”

I lift my head and stare at him, then burst into giggles. “Excellent questions. And why is success sometimes scarier than failure? Also, I think thisisactually success, not failure.”

“Sometimes failure is better for you than success.”

Happiness bubbles up in me. “Yes.” I pause. “When I was at Ana’s place the other night, she reminded me of this quote from Horace.”

“Who?”

“Horace. A Roman poet from…well, way back.”

He snorts softly.

I recite it for him. “And that line ‘and teaches new means for the accomplishment of our wishes’ really made me think.”

“Oh. Yeah. Totally. I’d say we’re both doing that. Finding new ways to get what we want.”

“And figuring out what itiswe really want.”

“I want you.”

“Same. I want you. And I want family. And friends. And a community, even if rumors here spread faster than a lizard on hot asphalt.”

He laughs.

“The people here are good people. There’s just Uncle Geno to deal with.”

“I’ve got your back with him.”

“Thank you. I’ve got your back with everyone.”

I adore him. He’s comfort and strength and pleasure. He’s everything I didn’t know I wanted, everything I need—the hidden secret of my soul.

Chapter32

Bianca

Ineed to talk to Uncle Geno again. When I came here, I was going to get him to give us the wine. To get him to stop sabotaging us, if not help us. And to get him to admit I know what I’m doing when it comes to wine.

But…things have changed.

I’ve changed.

It doesn’t matter what Geno thinks. I’d like him to acknowledge my accomplishments, but in the end, they’re my accomplishments and what matters is that I’m proud of myself and I know what I’m capable of. I think what I really wanted was to feel like part of the family. And I have felt that.

I always thought my cousins were the same as Uncle Geno—oblivious to me and my dreams of creating beautiful wines. But after our family dinner that night, I see they’re not. I felt such a sense of family that night—shared memories and laughter, common experiences. Rosa and I have gotten closer, understanding each other better now. I even consider Jake part of the family and I love him for loving my sister. We all have a history together and I feel part of it. Part of the family. Part of the Lamberti saga, but also my own person.

But I need to talk to Uncle Geno.

I know Jansen would come with me and support me, but I want to do this myself. So I don’t tell him I’m going over to Belmonte.

I find Uncle Geno in his office.

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