Page 124 of Wicked Sin

“Why?”

“Because it’s weird. I don’t know how to translate looks like that.”

The corner of his mouth twitches. “Because you’re not built for emotional intimacy?”

I laugh a little, which hurts. I frown instead. “Sure. Maybe I think you’re about to pick a fight with me.”

“Have I ever done that?”

Jesus. I don’t know. The last week seems like a blur of hostility and fucking that ended in us both being shot, but it’s all buried under an overwhelming sweetness that matches the way he’s looking at me. “No?”

He laughs. “You aren’t sure, are you?”

“I’m a fighter. It’s all I know.”

“Not true. You knew I was looking at you with fondness.”

I groan. “Oh God, that sounds awful.”

His laughter gets worse, and he’s grinning now. Big and bright and happy. “The absolute worst? Me beingfondof you?”

“It sounds like something grandmothers feel.”

“Terrible.”

“You’re mocking me.”

“Absolutely. What would you rather I say? That I love you?”

I freeze.

I mean, I did say it first. But I’d just woken up from practically being dead.

He shakes his head, his eyes soft. “I know it’s hard to hear. I know for you this is more dangerous than anything else we’ve been through. For you, my beautiful princess, love is a form of edge play, isn’t it? Lean into it. Let yourself ride that edge. Because I do love you. I’m fond of you, and you make me laugh, and you make mehappy, which is quite the fucking feat. And most of all, I like you. I like everything about you. And when I thought you were going to die, I wanted to die, too. I made them take me in the ambulance with you, and I fucking cried, okay?”

“No…”

“Also, I haven’t showered in days. Or shaved. So maybe this isn’t the right time to tell you that I love you, even though you said it first. I went with fond instead. It seemed safe, but then you went and decided to be rude about it.”

It’s so much.

It’stoomuch. It’s too nice, too lovely.

Because I’m fucking fond of him too, andthat’srude.

“This wasn’t the plan,” I say quietly. “I left all my big feelings behind in Washington.”

“Those were different feelings. Nothing like this.”

I shake my head. No. Nothing like this. “This is different.”

He grins. “So different. This iswild, baby. This is love.”

It takesanother three days before I’m discharged.

The FBI agent, Ferdinand, comes and explains to me that for reasons that are none of my business, the whole incident is going to be covered up.

He didn’t say it was none of my business, of course. He used other language. Smooth words that mean the same thing.

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