Page 14 of Shame

He swears under his breath. “I remember. I’m sorry.”

And we’re done cuddling. I push myself up, and he rolls onto his back, his arm falling over his face.

I go to the closet and find myself some clean clothes, then go into the bathroom where just last night I confronted him about the affair. Was that less than twenty-four hours ago? I lock the door and start the shower.

* * *

I takemy time when I’m done, drying my hair and carefully applying serums to my face because I’m not fresh out of law school. Then I get dressed before opening the door to the bedroom again.

Luke is sitting on the bed. He looks like he’s been run over by a truck.

Good.

He straightens up and gives me a desperate look. “Are you hungry?”

I shake my head.

“Let me cook something for dinner.”

I don’t want him to do anything nice for me right now. “We can order in.”

“I want—”

“I couldn’t fucking care less what you want.” I pin him with a sharp glare, meant to hurt.

He holds the gaze like an eager puppy, like any attention is good attention, which is probably what got him into this situation in the first place.

Pathetic.

He shrugs. “Fair enough. We’ll order in whatever you want. Maybe that’s better. Give us more time to talk—”

“I don’t want to talk,” I mutter.

Luke keeps going. “I want to give you my full attention. Fix what I’ve broken. You have a show coming up—”

“I don’t want to talk,” I repeat louder this time. “Because of the show. Because I’m a mess inside.” My voice raises. “Because I can’t look at you without shaking.”

And because I already miss the warmth of his body wrapped around me.

I hate you, I think in my head.

“Don’t look at me, then.” He gets up and moves to the armchair by the fireplace, out of my direct line of sight.

I move to the spot on the bed he just vacated, grab the blanket, and wrap that lingering residual heat around my body.

I’m hollow inside.

I want him to hold me again.

I hate him.

I curl onto my side and stare out the window at the sky.

Luke clears his throat. “I saw Alex at the office. Just him and Cameron, that was it. I told them I need to quietly take some time and work from home. Alex is going to cover my meetings—and he gave me shit for not being supportive of your show.”

“That’s why you asked about it.”

“He reminded me I’d been a dick to you. I’m sorry.”

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