Page 30 of The Nanny Goal

There’s a sensible part of my brain that knows that’s not the case. She was holding my sleeping daughter. She’s notindifferent.

But she’s something.

Hurt, you asshole. She’s hurt.

“Thank you,” I manage to say. I should sayI’m sorry, but we have an audience. I’m trying to think of the best way to ask to speak to her alone for a minute when her mother says something about helping with agency contacts in the morning.

I stiffen.

I should accept their help, but I don’t want to look weak.

“I’ll find a nanny,” I interrupt. “But I need something else.”

The air in the waiting room suddenly feels heavy.

But I’ve said it.

“Of course, honey. Anything. Whatever you need.”

I don’t think her daughter is going to agree. My pulse pounds in my neck. That’s not going to stop me. “I need to borrow Emery.”

Her head jerks up, her eyes going wide. “What?”

“My mother does all of our cooking. So now I need a chef.”

“I’m not available,” Emery says just as quickly.

Her mother nudges her arm. “Of course you are. This is Forrest’s best friend.”

“What about our family road trip?”

“Emery,” her mother scolds. “A crisis is more important than that. And you didn’t want to spend the next few days driving to Toronto and Buffalo, anyway.”

“But it won’t be just a few days,” she says desperately. “And I have to pack up my entire life.”

She’s never coming back.The threat is like a pounding drum in my head.

I can’t hold on to her.

I can’thaveher.

But I can bring her close, for a while. I can employ her, and maybe after some sleep, I can find the words I need to say. The privacy, too.

Her mother tsks. “Every day we don’t help is a day Alexei can’t be with the team, Emery. He needs to get back on the ice sooner than later.”

It’s true. I’m going to need to hire a lot of help over the next few weeks. A personal aide worker for my mother. And a nanny for Inessa. But those people will be strangers. If I had a professional cook in the house, too, a family friend, it would be easier to leave.

She doesn’t say anything, but I can see it.That’sthe angle I can use to leverage her here. I can’t hold her, but I can have her at arm’s length, and that’s better than half a world away.

And if you are her boss, will you keep your hands to yourself any more than you did when she was your best friend’s little sister?

Yes. Because I’m not that selfish young man anymore.

And maybe I need to prove that to the both of us. If it takes begging her for a favour to get that chance, so be it.

“From one hockey player to another,” I say softly. “Can you do me a solid?”

“I liked you better when you didn’t speak English,” she mutters.

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