Page 63 of The Nanny Goal

She takes a deep breath. “When your mom and Inessa came into the WAG suite the other night, I…I think I felt her presence. I knew, even as the door was opening, that it was someone connected to you. I can’t explain how. But I was convinced it was your girlfriend.”

I frown. “I don’t have a girlfriend. I haven’t dated anyone since Inessa was born. I don’t know if I ever will again. That’s just not my life.”

“I didn’t know that. I thought maybe Inessa’s mother was still in your life.” She blushes. “I did a really good job blocking out anything and everything to do with you.”

Guilt sears through me. “I don’t blame you for that. That was a horrible night. I never should have?—”

“Was it horrible?” She cuts me off, really looking at me now. Challenging me. “Do you regret it?”

The directness catches me off guard, and I respond honestly before I can think better of it. “Never.”

Confusion twists her expression, just for a moment, before she sucks in a quick inhale. “Right up until the end, it was the best night ofmylife. Really eye opening.”

“Jesus.” I laugh in surprise, and relief. “Okay. Good. But I hate how it ended.”

“Also eye opening,” she says dryly.

“I walked right into that.” I roll my shoulders. Tightness is starting to settle in. I’m going to need a massage tomorrow. Should have asked for one tonight, but I had media availability and then I wanted to get to the hotel.

I wanted to get to privacy, so I could call Emery, so she could flay me alive for hurting her two years ago.

I’m not running away from this conversation.

“Since we’re confessing things, can I tell you something?” I ask.

She nods.

“It wasn’t horrible. That’s just a thing I tell myself now so I don’t get consumed bywhat ifs.”

“Oh, Alexei.”

“Fucking hell, don’t give mepity. I’m the asshole who ruined it, all right? That’s all me.”

She nods, sagely agreeing with me, which makes me laugh with her—and at myself.

“I wanted you from the moment I saw you, Emery. In that bar, I was already thinking about how to approach you. And then your brothers came in and that barely deterred me. That night, all night, I was obsessed with you. I need you to know that, just…for yourself. Don’t ever doubt how much you consumed my thoughts then. When I got those text messages, I was genuinely shocked. I hadn’t seen her in seven months.”

And if there wasn’t a hitch in her breath, I’d leave it at that.

But we went two years with her only understanding part of what I was going through that night. I don’t want there to be any doubt in her mind that if everything was different, she would’ve been mine from that night. I never would have let her go, and she would still be mine today.

“That night was the hottest experience of my life. If I’m lonely forever, I won’t be completely alone. I have my memories, and they are…incredible. The only thing hotter would be if you’d been wearing this jersey.”

Silence hums between us like feedback.

She shifts on the couch, one leg curling under her, and the sweatshirt dips a little further. I drag my gaze back to her face. Her cheeks are pink now, but she doesn’t break the stare.

Her lips part, but no sound comes out. Then she smiles—small, secret, like we just agreed to something without saying it out loud.

“It’s good to have some closure on all of that,” she says. “I should go to bed.”

And before I can respond, the screen goes black.

CHAPTER20

EMERY

Inessa’s soft little snore is the first thing I hear when I wake up, because despite Alexei’s assertion that she will stay in his bed, apparently that’s not true.

---