Page 58 of To the Grave

I swallowed around the emotion clogging my throat, my body a storm of conflicting feelings and sensations: pain and sorrow and lust and hunger and pleasure and the inconvenient love that I had for the man who saw me like no one ever had.

“I missed you.” I fought back a sob as I remembered. “I missed you so fucking much.”

Something like relief passed over his eyes and he pulled out and slammed into me again, even harder this time, and he didn’t stop. He drove into me like a man on a mission, like he was out of his mind, his face contorted in pleasure and agony as he pounded into me from behind.

“So good,” he grunted. “So fucking good.”

He reached around my body with one hand and slid his fingers over my clit and I cried out, coming apart all at once, falling to pieces in his hands as I shuddered around his cock.

“Fuck yes,” he said.

He was like a madman, growling as he drove into my body, his thrusts so brutal I felt it in my bones as he spilled into me. I took it happily, watching his face in the mirror, our shallow breathing mingling with the slap of our bodies until he finally slowed, collapsing onto my back.

We stayed that way for a long time. I couldn’t speak for Jace, but I didn’t want it to end, didn’t want to return to the logic of a world that seemed to tell me over and over again that Jace — and all the Beasts — and I didn’t make sense.

That we weren’t meant to be.

And that no matter how much I tried to fight it, we never would be.

Chapter 41

Daisy

Aweek later I was sprawled out on the floor in my bedroom, wearing a face mask while Sarai did my nails. Cassie was sitting next to me, painting her toenails, her face covered in the same mask Sarai and I wore.

The original plan had been to have a girls’ night in — a long overdue catch-up — at Cassie’s apartment, but the Beasts would only allow it if I gave one of them permission to sit outside all night.

Like that wouldn’t be creepy at all.

Plus I didn’t totally trust Otis not to break into Cassie’s again, and I really did want to spend some time with my two best friends. I felt bad about neglecting them, and the truth was, I missed them.

I’d had to tell them about Jace to make it work, so I’d gone ahead and told them about everything else too. What was the old saying? In for a penny, in for a pound. If I couldn’t trust my two best friends, I was even more screwed than I realized.

“I just can’t believe Mac might be your dad,” Sarai said, sweeping purple nail polish over my short nails. She’d wanted togive me the full treatment with press-on acrylics, but I’d passed because of the punch list on the house, which wasn’t really conducive to long nails.

“You and me both,” I said.

“But also, he mightnotbe your dad,” Cassie said.

“I don’t know,” Sarai said, “I can kind of see it in the nose and mouth.”

Cassie glared at her.

“What?” Sarai said. “I’m just saying.”

“It’s fine,” I said. “You don’t have to protect me. I’ve spent hours staring at my own face in the mirror and it hasn’t gotten me any closer to figuring it out.”

Sometimes I was sure I saw shades of my dad, but other times, when the light hit my face a certain way… well, I knew what Sarai meant.

“It doesn’t really matter though, does it?” Cassie asked. “I mean, I know it matters, but your dad is your dad. He’s the one who raised you, the one who took care of you and provided for you.”

“It’s more that it might explain some things,” I said.

“I’m sure Cass will kill me for saying this, but I don’t think it’s a secret that he’s always treated you different from Ruth,” Sarai said, brushing polish onto my last nail.

“Yeah, but don’t you think every kid would say their parents had a favorite?” Cassie asked. “My mom adored Bram. She was fine with me, but even Bram admitted he was her favorite, and there’s no way I’m not my mom’s kid.”

Sarai pulled out a little nail dryer that she’d brought and turned it on. “Put your nails under here. They’ll be dry in three minutes.”

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