Page 25 of Hell to Pay

“The narrative would be ‘soldiers dishonorably discharged make unproven allegations against decorated captain,’” Nolan said. “We’d be dismissed as flunkies with an ax to grind.”

“And even worse, it would bring the nut jobs out of the woodwork,” Jude added.

I could see it: the news reports, the Bastards’ faces plastered on screens all over the country, the rehashing of their discharge and the fake allegations made against them, the online trolls with nothing better to do than gossip about people they didn’t know.

It would be rough for anyone but there would be additional fallout for Nolan, Jude, and Rafe, whose work depended on living under the radar.

“That’s so messed up.” I thought about Rafe, the expression of fury on his face when he’d stalked from the room. “Will Rafe be okay?”

“As okay as he ever is,” Nolan said.

I took another drink of my coffee, trying to analyze the heavy feeling in my chest. Was I… feelingsorryfor Rafe Maddox?

Ugh.

I looked at Nolan. “Did Gage say how long it would be until he has word on the hard drive?”

Other than my interaction with Rafe about the knife, we’d more or less gone our separate ways after they’d gotten back from the beach, and after the awkward dinner at Jude’s parents’ house, I’d been relieved to have the space.

It was one of the things I liked about living with the Bastards. They were always there, but they weren’t on top of me all the time. I was used to having space and there were still times when I wanted to be alone. I liked that I never had to explain that, and I’d been surprised how easily we’d slipped into a comfortable routine, the way they let me be when I retreated to my room.

Nolan shook his head. “He never does. Depends on a lot of different things, and judging from the security on theArtemis, I’m guessing whatever’s on the hard drive is pretty secure.”

“Damn,” I said.

No one wanted to say it out loud, but in spite of what had happened in Greece, we were stuck. I’d gotten the invitation code from Imperium Fratrum, had been on one of their boats (the other boat will be here soon), had been surrounded by their guards, and we still didn’t know much more about them now than when we’d gone to Folegandros.

Jude leaned in to kiss me. “We’ll figure it out, boss.”

I was surprised by how natural it felt. I cut a glance at Nolan, wondering if he felt some kind of way about the fact that Jude was acting like my boyfriend, but Nolan was moving around the kitchen like it was all the most normal thing in the world.

Then again, Ihadfucked them both in Greece, so I guess a kiss wasn’t exactly scandalous.

“I’d offer you breakfast, but the fridge is empty,” Nolan said. “Carter’s away. Want to go to the store with me? We can stop for coffee and pastries on the way home.”

“You had me at pastries.” I looked at Jude. “You’re not coming?”

“Afraid not. I have some things to do for the business. But get me a chocolate croissant, will you? I’ll thank you later.”

His wicked grin caused heat to flare between my thighs, a promise in his words I was more than ready to redeem.

19

NOLAN

It was justgrocery shopping but I felt like the luckiest guy in the world. Walking up and down the aisles with Lilah made me feel normal, like we were any other couple out to do the shopping for the week instead of… whatever we actually were.

I wasn’t stupid enough to think Lilah had forgiven me — or any of us — for what we’d done to her in high school. The heart and the body weren’t the same thing, and just because Lilah had given me her body didn’t mean her heart was along for the ride.

I didn’t blame her. Rafe had had his own reasons for what he’d done — reasons that were his to explain — but they didn’t justify the fact that Jude and I had gone along with it.

Nothing would ever justify that.

I just hoped Lilah would give me time to make it up to her. A lot of time. Because in the deepest part of my heart, I already knew I didn’t want to let her go.

We filled our cart with fresh fruit and vegetables, thick steaks and chicken for Jude’s curried chicken salad, plus yogurt and ice cream. We even added a shit ton of snacks, which Rafe would bitch about but eat when no one was looking.

We were both starving by the time we loaded the Rover with the bags and headed to Cassie’s Cuppa for pastries and more coffee.

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