Page 35 of Hell to Pay

Freeing.

Nolan and Jude were teaching me about pleasure in their own ways, making me realize there was nothing dirty, nothing shameful, about it. It was a safe exploration, a chance to feel and do everything the way I wanted, and it wasn’t lost on me how ironic it was that the guys who’d made me feel out of control — the guys who’d taken it from me — were now the ones teaching me how to take it back.

I held on to his shoulders and lowered myself onto his cock, sighing as he became fully seated inside me. I’d been on top with Nolan before, but he’d been lying down. This was different. Jude was sitting up, cupping my ass, and the position caused near-constant friction on my clit even when Jude started moving under me.

I moved with him, grinding my hips to get even more friction on my clit, closing my eyes as the intensity of my pleasure climbed.

“Oh my god…” I said. “That feels so good.”

Every shift of my hips, every small change in position, caused a new sensation and they were all mind-blowing.

“That’s right,” Jude said. “Use me. Take it the way you want it.”

I moved faster, rolling my hips against his, another orgasm already flaring in the deepest, most hidden part of my body.

Jude dipped his head to my tits and drew one of my nipples into his mouth and a streak of white-hot bliss shot to my pussy.

“Shit.” I rolled my clit against his stomach on the downstroke, barely lifting myself off him before grinding again, pushing down on him so hard I felt the tip of his dick hit my cervix. “Shit, Jude…”

He lifted his head from my tits and took my head in his hands, then pulled my head down to meet his lips. He dove into my mouth like a man on fire jumping into the sea, his tongue plunging deep into my mouth.

I fell over the edge of my orgasm all at once, gasping and crying out as my body shuddered with waves of pleasure.

Jude groaned and I knew he was coming too. I wished suddenly — stupidly — that he wasn’t wearing a condom so I could feel him spill into me.

We didn’t speak. There was just the sound of our release and the fire and the mountains around the house until I finally fell limp against him, dropping my head onto his shoulder as I gasped for breath.

We stayed that way for a long time, Jude stroking my back.

“Do you need anything?” he finally asked. “Meds or anything?”

I shook my head and straightened, then bent to kiss him. “I’m good.”

I’d taken my meds before bed. I wouldn’t need more unless I’d put my heart under stress — the running-from-snowmobiles-in-the-snow kind, not the erotic-sex-by-the-fire kind.

I climbed off him and stood but he pulled me back onto the couch as he stretched out. “Not so fast, boss.” I settled into the crook of his arm and rested my head on his chest. “I’m not quite ready to let you go.”

I sighed with pleasure. “If you insist.”

He pulled me closer, then chuckled and kissed my head. “I do.”

I was drowsy, relaxed from my two orgasms and Jude’s heartbeat under my ear and the warmth of the fire on our naked bodies.

Then I remembered Rafe.

I opened my eyes and looked up at the loft, expecting him to be gone. If he’d watched me have sex with Jude, he’d already gotten his rocks off.

But he was still there, his eyes burning hot with something that could have been either hatred or longing.

25

LILAH

A weekafter I’d found the flyer for Rain Adakai, Nolan pulled up to a small run-down house not far from my mom’s place.

“This is it,” he said. “The yellow one.”

It might have been yellow once, but the color had faded so much it was almost white now. The paint peeled from the siding, the skinny iron railing leading to the porch a little askew, like it was coming loose from the concrete steps.

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