If I could surround myself in his presence and allow him to offer me the strength I so desperately needed, then what did I need to be able to summon magic on my own for? When I was in danger, there was no issue calling upon theViniculumthat acted instinctively.

He would always protect me against physical threats to my wellbeing, and so would the mark that claimed me as his. “I don’t want to take a break,” I protested, glaring at my palm. I was never the best at anything, but I just wanted to not be incompetent.

I wanted to be able to summon my power to defend myself against other Fae, even if theViniculumwouldn’t instinctively respond in such a way. I wanted to be able to challenge anyone who threatened me in the future.

The last thing I wanted was to be reliant on a male. I’d fled that life with nothing but the dress on my body and my brother at my side. While I’d lost sight of that goal of independence for a little while, allowing Caelum to provide me with a feeling of safety and a place to rest my head at night with the Resistance, I couldn’t let go of my goal just because I’d begun to accept that he had a place in my life.

He would be mine, and I think a part of me knew it, even if I wasn’t quite willing to accept it fully yet.

“You’re exhausted,min asteren,” he said, releasing the reins with one of his hands and grasping mine. He lowered them both, pressing them into mane in front of me. “A star can only burn for so long before it dies.”

“Are you trying to imply that I’ll kill myself?” I asked, narrowing my eyes as his chest shook with a slight laugh behind me.

“I’m not implying anything. Pulling too much from the source of your magic can cause death in extreme scenarios. You aren’t quite risking that by attempting the trick I taught you, but your body is not used to it. You have to take it slow,” he explained.

I sighed, sinking further into his chest and letting him wrap me up in his embrace fully. “I just don’t want to feel helpless,” I said, turning my head to press my cheek into him. The scent of him washed over me, lulling me closer to sleep on Azra’s relaxing gait.

“You are far from helpless, Little One. Not many can claim they’ve stabbed a member of the Wild Hunt,” he said, his voice dropping low. As if he could sense how near to sleep I was from the way my body sank into his.

“I wouldn’t be able to claim such a thing either, if he hadn’t wanted to take me alive. Let’s not deceive ourselves; the only reason I have been able to defend myself against you or them is because you want me unharmed. The world is not the same as it was when Loris taught me to fight in the woods,” I said, ignoring the way his breath hitched. I realized in a moment of clarity it was likely the first time I’d spoken the man’s name. Given the tension suddenly filling Caldris’s body, I suspected it was likely fortunate for Loris that he was already dead. “Being able to stab something isn’t enough anymore. What do I do when we arrive in Alfheimr? What of the beasts that roam beneath the stars in Faerie? Will those never be a threat? What of Mab?”

I didn’t expect an answer to any of those questions that served the purpose of confirming how useless my limited skills would be in a fight against such creatures.

“First of all,” he said, the relaxation gone from his voice. “If or when you encounter Mab, you do not fight her. You run like your life depends on it, because there are some fates that are far worse than death. The things Mab does to her toys cause unimaginable suffering. You run and you never look back.”

“But you said you’re bonded to her. How am I supposed to run if you cannot?” I asked.

“You’ll leave me. I have taken Mab’s torment for centuries, and I will continue to do so until I am free. But you, she cannot have,” he said, the ominous warning in his voice making everything inside of me tremble. He genuinely feared the Queen of Air and Darkness and what she would do. Not to him.

But to me.

“What reason would she have to hurt me? I’m not a threat to her,” I said, furrowing my brow.

“She doesn’t need a reason to enjoy the way you scream, Little One. She thrives on suffering, on the sounds that fill her throne room. Her father is the Primordial of Chaos, of everything that came before, and humans once believed that meant she should thrive on silence. On the moments when there was nothing to exist.”

“But creation had to start somewhere,” I said, my voice trailing off as I considered it.

“Exactly. He created something from that nothing, an entire world spawning from that moment of inception. Some say he hoped to fill the void within him with the noise of creation around him,” he explained.

“The opposite of how he feels on the inside,” I agreed, again pondering the disappearance of the Primordials. The eternal beings could never stop existing or the world would collapse beneath us, yet from what Caldris had said nobody had seen them for centuries.

Azra halted as the group traveling ahead of us slowed to a stop. We’d ridden at the back for most of the day, seeking the privacy and distance from the Fae Marked so that they wouldn’t see my attempt to summon the magic of winter.

They already hated me enough.

“What is it?” I asked, stretching up to try to get a better view through the riders blocking the path. I looked down when I felt shackles settle on my wrists.

“A group of humans,” Caldris said, ignoring my huff, his voice uneasy as he guided Azra around the female member of the Wild Hunt who was directly in front of us.

She nodded to him in respect as he navigated through the crowd to approach where the group of people had gathered. “We don’t offer sanctuary to people we don’t know,” Holt said. “I’m sure you can understand the importance of our duty to deliver the Marked humans to Alfheimr, if you are being honest about your intentions and the persecution you have faced.”

Caldris pulled Azra up alongside Holt, keeping his distance from the group of people. A woman with dark hair gathered into a braid that draped over her shoulder looked past Holt to meet my stunned gaze. She looked from me to Caldris, a knowing smile spreading across her face. “It would seem death has found you after all, Estrella,” she said, the knowing in her gaze turning to friendly acceptance as I leaned forward and dismounted from Azra’s back before Caldris realized what I was doing.

I walked up to the other woman, taking her hands in mine and squeezing. “Adelphia,” I said, the laughter that bubbled up from my throat of genuine pleasure to see her. Even if her ritual on Samhain had been the starting point of my life turning upside down entirely, I couldn’t shake my happy reaction to seeing her.

She’d been kind and accepting in a world determined to force me into a mold of whatever suited each person’s needs.

Caldris dismounted Azra behind me, moving up to place a protective hand on my shoulder. Adelphia’s smile drifted off her face as she took in the shackles on my wrists and the matching Fae Mark on his neck. “How do you know my mate?” he asked. I looked over my shoulder, finding his eyes narrowed on Adelphia’s face.