“I suppose you can only do so much to dress up a pig.” She turned her back on me, making her way back up the dais as the crowd chuckled.
A wave of insecurity filled me, leaving me feeling once again like an intruder in a land of pompous luxury. I would never fit in there, but as much as I wanted to find a place to call home, I didn’t want it to be this place bathed in cruelty. Nila’s words rang in my ears—her warning that this was exactly what they would do.
Women did not insult the attractiveness of those they thought beneath them. They insulted those they perceived to be a threat, wielding their own insecurity as a weapon against them.
“How long have you desired my mate for yourself?” I asked, making Malazan freeze in place.
The air around her went still, a chill creeping out from her as she spun with that unnatural speed only the Fae possessed. Hatred blazed in her eyes as I held her gaze.
“I have had your mate far more times than I care to count,” she said, the words dripping from her mouth like venom.
I waited for the moment when pain came from the admission, but Caldris’s past had stopped having the power to hurt me once I acknowledged how he felt about me. Nameless women in his past didn’t matter, because no sex could compare to the bond we shared.
They were nothing but a distant memory, no longer a threat to us or my confidence in our relationship. I could not continue to punish him for his conquests or bed partners before I’d even been born, and there was freedom in no longer allowing them to have any power over me.
“You and half the realm, it seems. But it is me who will share his bed for the rest of his days. You are one of countless others who will never again know the way his body feels, and you never knew the truth ofhim. He lives within me, his soulas much a part of me as mine,” I said, pausing as I delivered the final blow to her confidence.
I might not have done it if I hadn’t known she would already be my enemy, but nothing I could say or do would change my fate where her jealousy was concerned. I smiled sadly, my eyes filling with pity. “You are nothing to him, whereas I am his entire world. Dressed up pig or not.”
“You insolent, little shit—” Malazan snarled, spinning to face me fully as she took a step in my direction.
“This conversation grows tiresome,” Mab said, the words making Malazan hesitate in her hurry to get to me. “It is not your bond to Caldris that interests me, and I should like to get to know the parts of you that are not connected to him. Take off her collar, Malachi.”
“But my Queen—”
She turned a glare to him.
“Estrella, your mate is severely weakened and injured at this moment. You will never harm me more quickly than I can end his life, and with him out of your sight, you won’t have any warning before I kill him. Harm me, or even attempt it, and you will be alone in this world. Do you understand?”
I ground my teeth together, toying with the idea of trying to decipher any deception to her words. There was none to be found, at least not easily, and I’d already known as much from the pain I’d felt the night before.
“What have you done to him?” I asked, gritting my teeth as I shifted my feet.
His blood coated the bottom of my shoes, making it feel as if he was still with me, even when I could not sense him. I’d know if he was gone from this world, but why did he continue to shield me from him?
“I think it pertinent that you worry more about yourself for now. Caldris is still alive for the moment. That’s all you need to know. Understood?” Mab said.
“Yes,” I hissed, bowing my head forward as Malachi swept my hair over my shoulders.
He grasped the back of the collar, the click of the hidden lock separating as he opened the heavy iron. He drew it away from my neck, guiding it away from the front of my throat. My eyes closed as I breathed deeply, feeling warmth flood my Fae Mark. I turned my head toward it, opening my eyes slowly as I stretched my arm, reveling in the way the golden light shimmered like stars.
Raising a stare at Malazan, I watched her flinch back the moment my eyes met hers. I could only imagine what she saw, wondering if the same thing filled them as it had that night in Blackwater when I’d banished the stars from the sky.
“What is she?” she asked Mab, her voice a breathless whisper.
“I have every intention of finding out,” Mab said as Malachi brought me the chair from the day before.
I glared down at the iron shackles hanging from the arms, wondering if she’d freed me for only a few moments to make her grand show to her court. She didn’t banish them as she had before, allowing them to stay and watch as I walked around the side of the chair and lowered myself into it.
Mab stared at me in silence, and I couldn’t shake the knowledge that we were waiting for something. That whatever came would be even worse than before.
A single snake slithered across the throne room floor, making its way to my feet and rising onto its tail to stare at me.
“I want to know what’s inside that pretty head of yours, Little Mouse. Unfortunately, I cannot rely on you to just do the easy thing and tell me.”
The snake wrapped around my ankle, slithering over my skin as it climbed up my leg and settled in my lap. I swallowed back my nerves, fearing snakes for the first time in as long as I could remember.
This one looked at me as if I was something to devour, as if it was entirely under Mab’s control. The temptation to test who it would obey was strong within me, but I shoved it down. Some secrets were better left in the dark, and I had to protect mine to the best of my ability.