Page 138 of Love Sick

He shakes his head. “Just wait for it.”

“You okay?” Kai whispers next to me.

I stare at him and say nothing.

He turns away. “You don’t have to talk about it.”

I nod, swallow and return to the notes on my laptop—a document I started at Grace’s insistence.

“But you can,” Kai murmurs. “If you want to.”

My typing slows, and on a new line I write,If I talk, it’s real. Not ready for real yet.

“Fair enough, man.” He drums his fingers on the table. “Maybe we could go out tonight.”

I give a half-hearted shrug. “Maybe, but I don’t think it’ll work.”

“Then take out one of the nurses. Half of them are already in love with you.”

The idea has merit, but a self-hating imp in my mind makes me hesitate. What if she changes her mind?

I. Am. So. Pathetic.

I shake my head. “Not ready for that, either.”

The next lecture is given by Dr. Chen, who sweeps in and takes a seat at the head of the table. His CPAP lines are crisp across his cheeks, but he’s in fine spirits. He wraps up his talk on complex vulvar pathology with a labeled diagram of a normal vulva.

Grace’s hand shoots in the air before Chen’s last word has left his lips. Her usual twenty questions follow. I stare blindly at the screen before me and play Silversun Pickups on my AirPods to drown out her voice.

“Any other questions?” Chen asks when she’s finished.

“I have a question.” Kai eyes the diagram with a skeptical brow. “Is there something wrong with straight men? ’Cause like—” he gestures toward the screen in a circular motion “—I’m looking at this, and all I can think is, this is not that hard to figure out.”

Asher snorts.

“Uh—” Dr. Chen’s mouth twitches.

“No, seriously.” Kai points at the screen. “This is like an instruction manual. Am I missing something?” He turns to me. “It’s not that difficult, is it?”

I give him a hard stare.

He relents and lowers his voice. “Oh. Right. Sorry.” He flips his laptop closed. “Imma stick to dicks anyway so it doesn’t matter.”

Lexie bangs her hands on the table and adopts a mock-serious tone. “The most important part is that you PROTECT THE CLITORIS!”

The room fills with snickers, and a chuckling Chen stands to make his exit. I do a double take. The back of his white coat is covered in unrolled condoms.

Asher bursts into laughter. Several others follow suit.

Chen turns, narrowed eyes aimed at Asher. “What?”

The tears in Asher’s eyes as he laughs shine bright, his face red.

“Oh my gawd.” Kai snorts. “Dr. Chen, what did you do to your coat?”

Chen looks down at his coat, then pats his back. A resigned smile tugs at his mouth when he looks at Asher. “I suppose this is your doing, Dr. Foley?”

Asher is soundless in his laughter. Everyone else cracks up.

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