Page 152 of Love Sick

She winces. “I didn’t take his name.”

“How feminist of you,” I say, dripping with disdain.

“Grace, I can explain.”

In one fell swoop, my energy drains and I’m utterly exhausted. My shoulders slump under the weight of everything that’s happened, and I want to crawl in my back seat and sleep for the rest of time.

“You got married.” I head to my car. “What’s to explain?”

“Grace—”

I slip into the driver’s seat and cut her off with the sharp slam of my door. She ducks into the back seat before I can reverse out of my spot.

My head falls to the headrest. “Fine. Explain.”

She meets my eyes through the rearview mirror. “Right before third year of med school, Steve came to talk to our class about the residency programs here. Afterward, I went to ask him questions, and we hit it off. I kept him at a distance at first. He’s fifteen years older than me, and it seemed weird, but the more I got to know him, the less that difference mattered.”

I shut my eyes. “I’m really glad you found someone, Alesha. I am. I just—”

“Let me apologize. I want you to know where I was coming from, even if you don’t agree with my choices.”

I roll my eyes.

“By the time I realized I wanted to actually date him, I was well into third year. I knew I wanted to match OB and in order to be close to him, I’d have to match here.”

“There are other OB residencies in this city, Alesha.”

She clicks her tongue. “This is the best one, and you know it.”

I say nothing.

Alesha’s voice softens. “So we agreed that he’d step back from The Match our year. I interviewed, and Steve found out I matched here at the same time I did. We celebrated so hard that night.”

I scoff.

“I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t know that word got out about us until you mentioned that everyone thought it was you, that you’d bought your spot with sex. I mean…it doesn’t even make sense, really. The program directors have final say over the rank list. You’d have to have screwed Dr. Chen.”

“Ew!” I turn to shoot her a disgusted face.

“I know! But I couldn’t come out and say it was me, Grace. Our relationship wasn’t exactly allowed, but… I loved him. I loved him so much, and I just couldn’t live without him. There’s no direct rules against us being together, but there’s vague wording in his contract about it. He could have been brought in front of the board of executives. It was his career…”

“It wasmycareer.” My voice is barbed, and she flinches. “You let everyone think I did those things! One rumor spiraled intodozensof slanderous stories.”

“I didn’t know! I swear, Grace. I didn’t know how upset you were by it. In the beginning, I’d always defended you, so I think people stopped talking trash around me. You always blew it off like you didn’t care, and I guess—I guess I wanted to believe it didn’t bother you. I’m your best friend, I should’ve—”

“You arenotmy best friend. A friend wouldn’t do this to me.” I spear a glare through the mirror.

Alesha’s shoulders slump. “Okay. That’s fair. But I had no idea how much it was all hurting you until you pushed Julian away because of it. You love that boy! You have for almost two years. Why did you do that, Grace? You two belong together.”

“It wasn’t just about the rumors.” I stare blindly out the windshield.

“He would weather any of those rumors with you, Grace. He’d do anything for you. I would have too, if you’d have just talked to me, I could’ve—”

“What was I supposed to say? Hey, Alesha, did you hear the latest rumor about how I screwed an intern on an OR table? Yeah, pretty funny, huh? It kind of makes my soul want to curl up and die. Maybe you should have used a smidgeon of empathy and put yourself in my shoes. How would you feel if those things were said about you?”

“I know. I—I read it all wrong.” She stumbles over the words, tears thick in her tone. “I’m so sorry.”

My own empathy strikes. It goes against my nature to witness tears and not provide comfort. I stand strong, but my voice shrinks. “And I don’t know why you’re lecturing me about telling the truth when you’ve been keeping this secret for two years. There is nosorryfor this, Alesha. You broke my heart. You broke my trust. I—I don’t know how to move past this.”

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