Page 24 of Controlling Natasha

Jameson

Fuck.Me.

I’m pacing my suite, which I’ve been doing for over an hour.I’ve pulled half my hair out, running my fingers through it.

I can’t shake the visual of Natasha standing in the doorway wearing that unbelievably sexy nightie, her cheeks flushed as though I interrupted an orgasm, hair in pigtails, and breathing heavily.

I want to kick myself.I never should have gone to her room.It was a bad idea.I was way out of line.I checked on her because she’d said she was going to bed.

In my wildest imagination I never expected to find my Little girl with her hand in the cookie jar.I wanted to grab her, bring her hand to my nose, and inhale to see if those naughty fingers had been in her tight cunt.

I restrained myself, and I think I did a damn good job of making light of the situation, but now my curiosity is through the roof.Does she go into her room every night, put her hair up in such a Little hairstyle, and bring herself to orgasm?

The thought of her touching herself makes my knees weak.If I weren’t such a coward and had confronted her about how I feel weeks ago, we wouldn’t be in this position.

If Natasha were fully my Little, instead of me just half pretending all the time, I’d have about a hundred more rules than I have now.On top of that list would be keeping her greedy fingers away from her pussy.I want to own her orgasms.I want to dole them out when she deserves them.I want her total submission and obedience.When I have it, she won’t dare touch her slick folds again.Naughty Little girls who play with themselves end up enduring a lengthy spell of orgasm denial.

I groan.This is all my fault.One hundred percent.It’s not as though I can enforce any of the rules running through my head without establishing a solid, negotiated agreement with her.That would require sitting her down, explaining age play, and actually asking her to submit willingly to me.

Yep.I’m officially a coward because I don’t want to risk losing her.I adore her.She’s so fucking perfect.I can’t stand the thought of her being horrified by my declaration and possibly leaving me.

She shows every tendency of being a Little, but if she doesn’t have the vocabulary for it, she will most likely be confused, panic, and tell me to go fuck myself.

Something is up with her, though.It feels like we’re on the precipice of an explosion.I keep pushing, pushing, pushing.Controlling her in subtle ways that increase every day.She continues to accept my dominance with grace and ease, but how far can I go before she snaps?

Today was a turning point.She lied to me.I don’t think she’s ever lied to me before.I wonder if she’s ever lied to anyone before.I have no idea why she did it.I find it fascinating that it hasn’t occurred to her that my best friend might have mentioned to me that he had canceled his class today because he was attending a symposium across town.

Natasha didn’t flat out tell me she’d gone to class, but she let me believe it, and then she spent the entire afternoon in the campus coffee shop.When she got home, I could smell the coffee on her breath.How has it not occurred to her that I can track her phone?

If she were mine, I would never let her have coffee.I don’t offer it to her at home.I don’t give her any caffeine at all.That coffee is probably the reason she’s still awake.I’ll be curious to see if she has bags under her eyes in the morning.She might not be able to get any sleep if she drank enough coffee in the late afternoon.

If she were mine, I would have spanked her bottom until it was bright red for lying.I would have stood her in the corner afterward, holding her dress up with her panties around her ankles so I could enjoy the red-hot glow of her pretty bottom while she squirmed.

If she were mine, I would have grabbed her fingers a few minutes ago and sucked them into my mouth to see if her arousal was coating them.

She’s not fucking mine, though.And that’s my fault.

Tomorrow night is going to be challenging.I’m already half out of my mind.It goes against my every instinct to let her go out with Simone.Let her get in a car.Let her go to a movie.

Let.Let.Let.

I have no right to stop her.I’ve imposed every rule I can without tipping her over the line.And even then, I’m kidding myself.Why she didn’t balk at my nine o’clock curfew is a mystery.I’m shocked she didn’t try to argue for a later time for tomorrow night.

I can’t tell a grown woman she can’t go to a movie with her friend.It’s ludicrous.Supporting her financially this semester doesn’t give me the right to control her every move.

Ha.I’m controlling nearly every damn thing she does.And the reason I keep adding to the list is because she never stops me.She’s so fucking Little it’s not even funny.She can barely sit still every time I lay down the law.I could order her to do just about anything, and she would squirm.

The thing with Simone is that I know the woman is Little.I’ve seen her at Surrender over the years.I don’t think she’s ever seen me or Camden, but we’ve seen her.We always slip out when we spot her in order to avoid embarrassing her.

I’ve suspected for a while that we leave for more than that reason.I’m certain Camden has the hots for her, and he’s unwilling to face that or verbalize it while she’s a student of his.It’s a coincidence that Simone has befriended Natasha.Or maybe it’s not.Maybe Simone recognized Natasha’s Little and was drawn to her this semester.

Has Simone explained her lifestyle to Natasha?I suspect Simone was with Natasha at the coffee shop today, but I have no way of knowing for sure.Ichooseto assume my Little girl was with Simone because the thought of her meeting a boy makes me want to punch a hole in the wall.Again, I would deserve it if she’s meeting up with boys.I haven’t exactly told her she can’t.Nor have I claimed her for myself.

Unable to contain my erection for another moment, I turn toward the bathroom, strip out of my clothes, and grab my dick.I hold on to the vanity with one hand while I jerk my cock as fast as possible with the other.

I don’t even bother with a shower to mask my needs tonight.I’m too raw and desperate.I let my hand slide over the tip and back down.So much precome is leaking from the head that I have plenty to lubricate my path.It’s hardly necessary, though, because I shoot my wad against the sink in less than thirty seconds.I come with so much force that some of it hits the mirror.

I’m a fucking mess.I have to have an honest conversation with Natasha.Soon.Before I say or do something to ruin what we have.

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