Page 45 of Love You, Mean It

Bella’s lips twisted into a knowing smirk—annoying—but then she sucked in a long breath, eyes tilting skyward in herthinking it overface, so I decided to let it go.

“Okay, so…Whatdoyou know about Chase?”

“That he was a couple years below me in school, but at Benedictine. And that he died almost six years ago at a company construction site. Do you know more?”

“Pretty sure alcohol was involved, though none of the kids who were with him ever admitted it.” I frowned and Bella bit her lower lip, her expansive empathy making this hard for her to talk about. “He and some friends were there after hours. He’d been interning for his dad that summer, probably to be closer to Theo, so he was able to snag the keys somehow. There was scaffolding all along the outside of the building, and they were swinging off it,daring each other to do parkour, just stupid college boy shit, you know? And I guess Chase just…fell.” She shook her head, eyes glistening. “Theo and I were still in okay touch then, I came in from Boston for the funeral. It destroyed him. The whole family, really. I think Cat wound up taking a gap year.”

“He and Chase were close?” I ventured, half-fearing the answer.

“I think Theo was Chase’s hero. We were dating when Chase started playing lacrosse, and Theo acted all exasperated about it—He seriously needs to get his own thingor whatever—but deep down he loved it. Having his brother look up to him that way. I think…” Bella blinked rapidly, eyes shinier now. “I think Theo blamed himself for what happened.”

“What? Why?” My entire face scrunched with disbelief.

“Not directly, obviously—he wasn’t even there—but Chase worshipped Theo. And honestly…it’s the kind of thing Theo would’ve done at Chase’s age. Fooling around on a job site, like he was invincible. I think Theo felt…like Chase was acting the way he thought Theo would have. And of course, Chase never would have worked for their dad in the first place if Theo hadn’t been there.”

“But that’s ridiculous.” I slapped my cleaning towel down on the counter, jaw jutting with indignation. “Theo didn’t force Chase to play lacrosse, or intern at the company. And he sure as shit didn’t tell him to get wasted and climb around on scaffolding.”

“Of course not,” Bella said gently. “And logically, I’m sure Theo knows that. But since when do emotions have anything to do with logic?” Bella twirled her bottle slowly, the glass clinking rhythmically against the mosaic surface of the table. “I’m not saying it’s how Theoshouldfeel, but I think it’s how hedoesfeel.”

“Fuck,” I murmured.

“I know,” Bella said. “Still…it’s good you know about it.”

“You sure about that? You should have seen Theo’s face when he was telling me.”

“But hedidtell you.” Bella twirled the bottle again, eyes fixed on the label. “Even a couple weeks after it happened, he shut down about Chase. He’s a really private person. The fact that he trusted you with that…It has to be a good sign.”

I sniffed out a laugh.

“You make it sound like this is anactualrelationship, Bella.”

“It is. Maybe not a romantic one, but it’s clearly real. Which honestly makes me way less worried about what you’ve gotten yourself into.”

I was working out a retort when the bell over the door rang and in walked…

“Theo, hey. Is it six already?”

“Quarter to. But I figured we could go over the game plan. The wine bar we’re going to is owned by…” He stopped as he registered Bella at the table, eyes widening almost imperceptibly. “Bella, hey. Ellie didn’t say you’d be joining.”

“I’m just in town for family dinner. You two lovebirds can hit the wine bar alone,” Bella said sweetly, crossing her legs as she smiled at Theo. Her eyes caught mine, mischief flickering there. “But don’t let me interrupt.” She gestured between the two of us. “You probably missed each other. And being engaged is so exhilarating. Go on, I don’t mind if you kiss.”

Theo’s eyes flitted from Bella to me, panic brewing on their surface. He reached across the counter to take my hand.

“It is hard to be apart these days…But we can control ourselves. You know how Ellie is about PDAs.”

“Ellie said sheloveshow physical you get. That it makes her feel…what was the word you used, El?Safe.”

“That’s nice,” Theo said vaguely, Adam’s apple working. He started leaning across the counter. Something in my chest tightened mutinously.

“Oh for god’s…she’sfuckingwith you, Theo.” I rolled my eyes, stepping back and tugging my hand away. “I told you from the beginning I was telling my family the truth.” Though Imayhavestrategically planned tonight’s “date” to avoid the family dinner gauntlet that would be coming now that I’d finally followed through on that promise. Details.

“It’s not like we followed up on that,” he muttered as Bella tried to cover her laughter with a hand.

“I’m sorry, I just couldn’t help it,” she said between giggles. “You should have seen the looks on your faces.”

“I’m glad we amuse you.” Theo’s brow was low, aiming for annoyance, but the corners of his lips were quirked. Bella picked up her Orangina and took a delicate sip through the straw.

“Anyway, I should get going. Mimi’s cooking her famous cacciatore. And I promised I’d pay in details about how your little ‘arrangement’ is progressing.” Bella grinned wickedly as she shrugged into her coat. “After all, Ellie’s almost as good at fooling herself as you are, Taylor.” With an emphatic eyebrow raise, Bella sauntered out.

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