“That’s true,” Sam said with a small laugh. She flicked off the water and caught me full in the eye again. “But be honest: You’resurethat’s all it is? Because I meant what I said before, if there’s something there, I have zero interest in coming between you. Theo and I might not even work, I’m not about to break up something real just to test the waters. If that’s what’s happening, we can call this off. Hell, I could even helpyouget him.”
She flashed a quick smile, but she still had that guarded, unreadable quality, the perfect mask whether you’re in a boardroom or trying to get a straight answer out of a hopefully-eventually-friend. Somehow it was more anxiety-inducing than if she’d expressedannoyance; cold control wasn’t something I knew how to manage, and I had the feeling it was less easy to move past than the more explosive brand of disagreement I was used to.
As much as the idea of writing Theo off entirely plucked at something deep inside that I hadn’t expected it to, there was only one right answer:Do whatever it takes to save the deli. Whatever was screwing with my hormones wasnotthe point. And who’s to say I even wanted something serious, not just with Theo, but at all? I’d just realized anew how important the deli was to me, to my family…With Sam’s help, I’d even started coming up with changes that genuinely excited me. For the first time in I couldn’t remember how long, my sewing machine was at the ready, my work table covered with fabric scraps and thread spools, and on top of all that, I was even designing new outfits. Somehow, accepting that the deli actually mattered to me seemed to have unblocked me creatively. Maybe because it took the pressure off; with the deli as priority number one, design could return to being the thing that drew me to it in the first place, tricking me into believing I was supposed to turn it into a lifelong calling: It was fun again.
I couldn’t give all that up for someman. Especially a man my family didn’t like for me—that guaranteed we’d fizzle eventually. Sure, we’d probably burn hot and strong at first, but what was a few months of sexual pleasure compared to a lifelong plan that finally, for the first timeever,felt like exactly what I was supposed to be doing?
I turned to look Sam straight in the eye. She needed to see how sincere I was; in a way, she was my most important audience in this whole thing.
“Theo and I are partners in crime, and I’m thrilled you think we’re pulling this off, but that’s the extent of it. Meeting his extended family…It’s a huge night, especially since they have final say over Mangia. So yes, we’re playing to the bleachers. But you don’t need to worry about us, I promise. We both know where we stand, and that hasn’t changed since we agreed to this.”
Sam bit her lower lip, anxiety narrowing her eyes, then she nodded resolutely, turning to reach for a hand towel.
“In that case, let’s go drag ourselves through the rest of this dinner.” She bent to wrap me in an impromptu hug. “You’re doing an incredible job, by the way. I really think this will work out perfectly.”
“I hope you’re right.”
And I did.
I just had to keep telling myself that I did.
“Ellie, I’ll walk you to your car?”
I startled at Theo’s voice, low and close to my ear. By the time Sam and I returned from the bathroom, Paul and Ted were deep in a discussion of winter golfing destinations and Cheryl was telling Marta about a recent Paris trip. If anything, I’d felt even more out of my element than when they’d been digging into financials.
“We can wait. For everyone to be ready, I mean.”
“No, you lovebirds get going.” Cheryl smiled in a way that she probably meant to be indulgent; the strong lines of her face didn’t really lend themselves to the softer expressions. “I’m heading out any minute. I can’t keep up with my brothers once they’ve started on the cognac. Ellie, I want you two to visit me in Palm Beach next month. I’ll take you to all the best restaurants and we can talk more about your brilliant designs. I know more than a few women who would spend a very pretty penny for bespoke looks.”
“That sounds lovely,” I sputtered. Playing tailor to the uberwealthy was in no way a goal of mine, but the idea that Icouldwas flattering.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Aunt Cheryl.” Theo leaned over thetable to kiss her cheek, real affection warming both their faces, then rose, raising two fingers in a perfunctory wave. “Back at it at eight sharp, yeah?”
“Make it ten,” Paul said. “There are a lot more cognacs on that list I want to try.”
With that, Theo ushered me out. I looked back across the restaurant, catching Sam’s eyes, laser-focused on Theo’s hand at the small of my back.
It was the perfect reminder: The tingly feeling radiating from that point, hugging my center, wasn’t worth the risk of losing everything Sam was trying to help me secure. This feeling was passing, the intense high of a short-lived drug; saving the deli would be for the rest of mylife.
“Where’d you park?” Theo said once we were on the sidewalk, arm slipping around my waist unconsciously, pulling me against him for warmth.
“I walked. I didn’t want to deal with finding parking.”
“We must be at least a mile from your apartment.” Theo frowned in concern.
“Maybetwo-thirds of a mile. Also, walking a mile isn’t some major endeavor.” I raised an eyebrow. “How many sit-ups do you do in a day?”
“I do them with my trainer in a heated gym.” He grinned. “But this is good. Now I have an excuse to drive back to yours.” He twisted me around, so my chest pressed against him, then reached up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear. The shiver that ran through me had nothing to do with the chilly night. “On that note…shall we?”
His gaze dropped to my lips, eyelids going heavy as his arm tightened almost imperceptibly around me. I could feel my breath hitch as he leaned ever so slightly closer, my lips starting to part of their own accord.
No, Ellie, for Christ’s sakeno. This is not the plan, and in fact has every likelihood of completely destroying what’s left of the actual plan.
I pulled away, tugging my coat around me deliberately.
“What are we waiting for? I’m not getting any warmer standing here.”
Theo’s lips curled in amusement, and he extended an arm.