Page 90 of Love You, Mean It

Make sure to swipe past the first picture before you try to nix him

I gritted my teeth, annoyed to be preempted so quickly. Sometimes it felt like Bella knew metoowell.

But that wasn’t always a bad thing. The man in the profile she’dsent leaned a little nerdy, his heavy glasses, carefully tended dark hair, and soft features like an emo song come to life. He was cute enough, but not particularly heart-stopping…but the third photo was a near-perfect recreation of the cover ofMarquee Moon,with him and a series of wigs standing in as all four members of Television, presumably one of those early pandemic distractions we’d all gone in for. I sighed—I didn’t really feel ready to “put myself out there” yet, but I’d promised Bella I’d at leasttryto try. And this guy had…potential. Maybe.

TO: Bella

Fine. But if the first date doesn’t go well, that’s it

No “you have to give him more of a chance” bs

I accept your terms.

But only because this is the first first date

If he’s not your future husband I reserve the right to renegotiate

I sighed, taking a long pull of my drink. Why did personal growth have to be so damned unpleasant?

“Straight whiskey? Dare I ask?”

I startled at the amused voice at my elbow.

“Jenna, hey.” I smiled, lifting my glass in her direction. “Don’t judge, I only just escaped my grandmother. Which if you haven’t met her…trust me, I earned this.”

“I was just going to assume you had excellent taste.” She grinned and poked the lime in her drink with her straw. “Does that mean you’re free tonight? I’m here with a few work friends, youshould join.” She tilted her head to a corner booth that held a clutch of artsy-looking twenty- and thirty-somethings, none of them familiar. “You’d be doing me a huge favor, if I have to dissect the faculty meeting for another minute I might actually shrivel up and die.”

“Sorry, this is literally a five-minute stop.” Yes, Mimi had told me to be gone at least twenty minutes, but we both knew that was unreasonable.

“Oh, okay.” She blinked, smiling wanly. “No worries. Have a good night.”

Jesus Christ, Ellie, do youwantto have no friends forever?

She was already halfway back to the table when I yelled out.

“Jenna, wait.” She turned back, cocking an eyebrow. “Could we, uh…raincheck? I’d really love to hang out pretty much any other night. I’m not in very high demand these days.”

My chest went fluttery with anxiety—I’d clearly forgotten how to make new friends, but it felt painfully close to asking out your high school crush. Fortunately, Jenna grinned at me almost immediately.

“Don’t worry, I’m painfully available as well. Maybe Wednesday? This brutally pretentious kid in my seminar is up for critique that day. I’m guessing I’ll need a drink.”

We quickly exchanged details and went our separate ways. I was pretty sure the glowy warmth spreading through my chest as I unlocked my apartment door had nothing to do with the whiskey I’d downed—sure, we weren’t besties yet, but Jenna was the first maybe-new-friend I’d made in longer than I could remember. It felt so good, it made me wonder why I hadn’t made the effort sooner. Though “Why didn’t I do X sooner” was kind of my wholethingthese days.

“How’s the sauce looking, Mimi?” I called out from the entryway.

“Fine, once you left it alone. No thanks to that stove. I have half a mind to call your landlord.” Mimi’s nose wrinkled with disgust.

“Don’t worry, I won’t be stuck with it for long. And I know you and Grandpa have plans. Go. I’ve got it from here.”

“If you say so. But you text me if you have any questions, I didn’t go to all this trouble for nothing, Missy.”

We hugged and she made her way out, leaving me just enough time to pull out the other ingredients and click on a “new listing in your area” email. The condo was small—barely nine hundred square feet—but all the finishes were new, and the building was charming from the outside. Besides, I wasn’t looking for anything fancy, just a one- or two-bedroom place not too far from my current spot. Something that would help me build equity (god, Theo reallyhadrubbed off on me). More important, something that wasmine,where I could build a life I actually wanted, not just the one I’d fallen into five years ago.

I emailed the listing to the realtor Ma had connected me with and turned back to the task at hand. It was quite possibly the last time I’d ever interact with Theo; I needed to make sure I got it right.

The lobby of Theo’s building was empty, a small grace, and I still had my elevator fob. It was only when the doors opened directly into Theo’s apartment that I realized this wasn’t so much showing up on someone’s doorstep asintheir home.

“Umm…hello?” I called out, taking a tentative step. “Theo, are you home?”

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