Page 91 of Love You, Mean It

Theo appeared at the end of the hallway. His dark blond hair was falling loose across his forehead, and his tight white T-shirt and slim-cut jeans seemed custom-made to accentuate his lean, muscular physique. My heart started thudding heavily, blood heating at the sight of him. Admitting to myself that I had caught feelings seemed to have supercharged the low-level thrum of desire I’d been feeling in his presence for weeks now.

“What are you doing here?”

The wary blankness in his face and voice was like an ice bucket challenge to the genitals.

“I, uh…I wanted to give you this.” I thrust the lasagna in front of me, the gift bag perched on the lid wobbling perilously. He frowned as he took it, clearly confused. “It’s a lasagna.Mimi’slasagna. So basically the best in show. Or…best in breed? Oh, and these are some napkins I made.” I pulled them out of the bag. In a gigantic dose of sappiness I’d used the leftover green fabric I’d bought for the new dress…but he didn’t need to know that part. “Throw them away if they’re not your style. Or regift them, or whatever.” I grimaced. Already this was goingawesome.

“Thank you?” Theo blinked at the tray. “I’m sorry, you really came over to give me pasta?”

“Not pasta—Mimi’s lasagna.” If anything he just looked more confused. “I guess it’s…symbolic.”

“Of what?”

“Of me. And us.” I raked my hand through my hair, forcing myself to focus. “Basically, I wanted to say I’m sorry again—because I’m really,reallysorry. What I said…‘out of line’ doesn’t even begin to cover it. Not to mention it wasn’t true. I was just lashing out. Because…” Here goes everything. My throat tightened painfully, even the idea of voicing this triggering a wave of anxiety. “Honestly, I was scared.”

“Scared of what, exactly?”

“Of you.” Theo’s brows drew down. “Not in a bad way, just…I don’t reallydorelationships. Ask anyone. So when things between us…changed…” I swallowed hard. The flutters in my stomach were getting so intense I was surprised they weren’t shaking me from the inside out. “When I realized I had developed real feelings for you…basically, I freaked out. And that doesn’t excuse what I said, but I want you to knowwhyI was so horrible. It wasn’t anything you did, it was just me being…broken, I guess. Some stupid animal-brain remnant was protecting me by pushing you away.”

“So lasagna is what…the traditional Greco mea culpa?”

“Theo, this isMimi’s lasagna.”

“You keep saying that like it’s supposed to mean something to me.”

“This recipe means more to my family than pretty much anything—Mimi won’t even write it down. ‘If you don’t learn this from me, you don’t deserve to have it, Eleanor,’ ” I said, pulling my best Mimi frown. “My family is the truest part of me. They’re the reason I’m here running the deli—not why I stayed, but why I came. They’re my whole heart. And this lasagna…it’s them. It’sme.”

“And the napkins?” His face was totally still, revealing nothing.

“They’re me too, but a different part. Like…family dinners, the lasagna, that’s my past. It’s the stuff that made me who I am. And in a way…these are my future?” I scrunched my nose, trying to find better words for it. “I know the deli is doomed, now that Mangia’s coming in, and I know you probably can’t forgive me, and I don’t expect you to.” Theo’s frown deepened imperceptibly, but he didn’t say anything. “But I wanted you to know that being with you helped me see things differently. It helped me really seemyself. And I realized that these two sides of me don’t really need to be at war, they’re actually on the same continuum.”

Jesus, this was going so far off the rails.

“The point is, even though what we had wasn’t…well, itwasreal, at least to me, but it wasn’t normal. But the point is, it changed me. For the better. I know I’ll have to start over soon, but…that doesn’t scare me like it would have a couple months ago. So…thank you.”

“Ellie…” Theo ran his tongue over his lip, staring hard at the tray of lasagna, the spray of green napkins like new growth on its surface. Something playing in his eyes almost felt familiar…

Then we both startled at the sound of footsteps approaching.

“Theo, is everything al— Oh.” Sam stopped a few feet behind Theo, blinking first at me, then at him. “Ellie,” she finally said.

She was wearing high-waisted jeans, an oversized men’s oxford tucked into the waistband.It had to be one of Theo’s. And her feet were bare. Which meant…

“Hey, Sam,” I said weakly, trying not to let the freefalling weight of my stomach physically pull me down. I hadn’t realized until that moment that I’d still been holding out hope. But I’d been right all along—theywereperfect for each other. I could hardly blame her for doing exactly what she’d told me she wanted to: getting him back. “I was just leaving. The, uh…the heating instructions are on the Post-it,” I finished, desperate to get away. “If you don’t like it…never say it aloud, I think Mimi would sense it and come to fight.”

“Noted,” Theo said, the first hint of a grin softening his mouth. It shot through me, electric, and suddenly the wanting in the pit of my stomach was so fierce I thought it might claw its way out.

“I’ll, uh…see you later,” I managed, stabbing the elevator button, desperate to retreat. Fortunately, it was still waiting on Theo’s floor.

The last sight I had was of Sam reaching for the napkins while Theo stared over her shoulder at me, the elevator doors closing silently, but definitively, between us.

The text came in a week later, while I was elbows-deep in a vat of pasta salad.

FROM: Little Lord Doucheleroy

There’s a town council meeting Tuesday

As a small business owner you might be interested

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