Page 36 of What If It's You?

Drew crouched in front of me, peering into my eyes, worry creasing his forehead.

“You do look pale. Do you think it’s something serious? We can go to urgent care if you want. Matt and Kari will understand.”

“No, I’m fine,” I said, smiling weakly. My stomach felt like a kicked beehive and I could barely manage to keep from hyperventilating, but fully freaking out right now would only make it worse—urgent care was thelastplace that was going to fix any of what was going on with me right now. Besides, the sincerity of his worry was touching, even if it didn’t fix the actual problem. “Just a little dizzy spell. Honestly, it was probably like…a head rush.”

Over Drew’s shoulder, I could see Mark’s eyebrow shoot up in disbelief.

“If you’re sure,” Drew said, looking me over again, carefully, before squeezing my hand and standing. “Did you manage to call the Uber?”

“Oh, umm…no, sorry. Maybe you can do it? Looking at my phone is making me feel a little…” I wobbled my hand in the air.

“Of course. Let’s wait outside, the fresh air will help.”

I let him help me up, smiled back at Mark as Drew said goodbye, let his strong arm around my waist support me as we made our way to a bench across from the building’s entrance.

By the time the Uber pulled up, I was feeling, if not exactlybetter,at least physically stable. Drew held the door open and I slid across the back seat. Once he was inside he took my hand, turning his intense gaze on me.

“If you’re still not feeling a hundred percent by tomorrow, we’re calling the doctor, okay?”

“Okay.” As the car pulled away from the curb, I sniffed out a laugh, the shock of what had happened—bordering on horror—scrambling my circuits, like when you crack up at a funeral. I felt simultaneously leaden and giddy, trapped in a fever dream ofalmostrightness. And deep down, hidden from view behind the shock and confusion, was a sharp thorn of self-recrimination. How had I let myself get complacent so quickly? Had my renewed doubts about Ollie and me—present so soon after I’d made it back, what did that say about me?—somehow caused this? Drew looked at me inquiringly and I shrugged, unable to filter my swirl of thoughts. “I was just thinking, the symptoms track up pretty well with me being pregnant. I mean, I’mnot,but…” I shook my head, giggles overtaking me, everything happening to me too absurd and terrifying to contain anymore.Early pregnancy symptoms include light-headedness, nausea, and losing yourentire mind.

His large blue eyes went huge, eyebrows veeing toward each other.

“Jesus, Laurel. Don’t even joke about that.”

“I’m already needling Matt to book our next trip. Maybe if you guys joined I could convince him?” Kari flashed her partner an impish smile. “The spa was even more incredible than I expected. Help me out, Laur. These boys will never say yes unless we present a united front.” She fixed me with a playful glare. I forced out a laugh; it seemed to be expected. And forced myself to ignore her calling meLaurall night.No one calls me Laur. Not since Mom.

“I’m in. I’ve always wanted to go to Costa Rica. I’ve heard there are some incredible hot springs in the middle of like…the most beautiful jungles on earth.” Ollie had brought it up once in a round of Fantasy Vacation, after which we dived down a few wormholes of swimming grottoes “none of the tourists know about” and where to find the best chifrijo.

Kari frowned, mouth dropping open. Drew’s hand moved onto my thigh, squeezing lightly, and I glanced over. His expression was half wary, half worry. I frowned, blinking rapidly.WhatI mouthed, but he just shook his head once, sharply.

“Laur…you were the one who recommended the resort to us in the first place.” She turned to Matt, then Drew, pulling an exaggerated “The fuck?” face.

“Oh, right…I know,” I stammered. “I just meant like…therealCosta Rica. I feel like I barely scratched the surface, you know? Too much spa time, not enough exploring. I figured maybe you were feeling the same way?”

Kari’s tongue moved slowly over her teeth, the motion jutting her already strong chin unflatteringly. I tried to find familiarity in the expression—from the sound of it, these were Drew’s and my best couple friends—but I might as well have been looking at a stranger. Which, honestly, shewas.

Finally, Kari shrugged.

“Makes sense. I had all these grand plans to zipline through the cloud forest, but the resort was way too nice and I’ve been flat outfor like…monthsnow.Youknow how crazy a creative career can be, Laur.” She rolled her eyes dramatically and I nodded. From context clues I was eighty-five percent sure she was an interior designer.

“Totally.”

“Oooh, I know, the next trip can be a celebration when you publish your first bestseller! Bonus: You’ll be so famous they’ll comp all our drinks.” Kari grinned conspiratorially.

“Hah. Doubtful.” I leaned back as the server placed plates around the table, explaining each of the pristine confections resting atop artful smears of pureed something or other and topped with reductions of twenty-eight ingredients and greens so micro they must have been applied with tweezers.

“I don’t know. I think your new idea actually has legs.” Drew waggled his eyebrows at me as he reached for the duck terrine, slicing off a large chunk and smearing it with whole grain mustard.

“A new book idea? Is it a romance?” Kari leaned on the table, propping her chin on the backs of her hands. “I’m stilldyingfor the rancher one. Ask Matt, having sex in a hayloft is like…my secret fantasy.”

“Not that secret, clearly,” he quipped.

“It’s hardly an idea yet,” I said, cheeks heating as I dropped my gaze to the array of shareable plates. “I don’t even have a real plot, or characters…”

“Yeah, but that’s just details. The idea is the main thing. And this one has a chance to actually beinteresting,” Drew said, smushing the terrine onto a piece of charred baguette and ripping off a hunk with his teeth.

My entire body tightened, like my skin had shrunk in some cosmic dryer. Had hemeantthat as a gut punch? I’d assumed that the fact that I was writing at all meant that Drew supported me, not just financially, but in all the other, frankly more important ways. And sure, I hadn’t managed to make much headway on any of the romance ideas yet, but to dismiss them wholesale, to dismiss the entiregenre…

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