Page 44 of What If It's You?

Unable to stop myself, I made my way to Ollie’s dresser and tugged open his underwear drawer, unearthing the ring box from its place at the back. If I had just said yes—thrown myself intowhipped cream dreams of billowing white dresses and hand-fed cakes and rustic trellises dripping with fairy lights, ignored the cold sweat that prickled along the edges of my hairline at the mere mention of the slavering monsterForevercrouching just outside that glowing moment—would any of this have happened?

But did I really feel more ready for that now than I had a few days ago? I felt more confident that I wasn’t meant to be with Drew, which was astart,but if anything, I felt more confused than ever about where Ollie and I stood. I’d been worrying about some unknowable future moment, but I’d seen his disappointment when I blew past the idea of kids, wasn’t sure where he was right this second, or what he was hiding from me. Wasn’t it possible we werealreadyon shaky ground?

I was still staring at the ring, turning it back and forth in my hand to make the ruby sparkle, when my phone gave a chirp that immediately tensed my shoulders. The Pixel messaging app—I was so conditioned to respond my fingers itched.

It was from Drew. Guilt twisted my stomach as I opened the message—apparently some part of me felt like myactual existencenow constituted cheating on him, which was a frankly impressive level of self-flagellation.

Drew:

quick q if you’re around

Laurel:

I’m around now

why are you working rn btw? I command you to go enjoy one of the ten perfect fall days new england has deigned to grant us this year

Drew:

lol

that’s the plan as soon as I sort this out

just wanted to see if you had logged into altr since yesterday?

Laurel:

nope—why?

Drew:

I figured

something wonky is happening with the ai, it says it’s running operations pretty much continuously but as far as we can tell no one is logged in rn

Laurel:

that sounds…bad?

Drew:

it’s not great

but bugs are part of the process

hopefully it will sort itself out by Monday

Laurel:

…which means you’re going to log off now and NOT WORK for the rest of the weekend?

Nisha told me she loves apple cider donuts fresh from the farmstand

Drew:

wait you guys talked?

Laurel:

---